Johnny, That Dude.

Toilet Cleaners Puts Me Under Pressure

2011-09-25T16:01:00.001+08:00

Statement 1: I moved to a new place and broadband wasn’t available. Until now.
Statement 2: Refer to statement 1.

If you are annoyed that I missed out on new posts for the past two weeks, refer to statement number 1. If you are still not satisfied, refer to statement number 2. I know right? It’s like an infinite loop. I’m so cool.

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You know sometimes what get on my nerves and push my buttons? ~~THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS!~~

Toilet cleaners. First you got to understand that I for one, respect them for what they do, knowing it’s a hell hole in there.

But what I’m referring to are those really anal ones. I don’t know about the ladies, but I have been to a few public toilets here in Auckland and some of them aren’t exactly the best experience I’ve had. Not that I’m always expecting a good time going to the loo, but it’s sometimes better not to experience anything at all.

What I mean are about those cleaners that would stay in the toilet and wait for you to finish doing your thing in the cubicle.

Here’s the deal with guys: When we pee, sometimes we can’t exactly control where to aim. At times, it’s like an uncontainable hose that went loose. So when we don’t get any or hardly any urine droplets on the ground or around the toilet bowl, trust me when I say, it was a tough task that to complete.

It’s even tougher when you have a cleaner outside your cubicle, waiting to cleanup after you. And more often than not, I can’t work under pressure.

After you finished, you feel like they’ll rate you. If you dirty the place, they’d think that you’re filthy. If your excretions stink too darn much, you’d have to send the cleaner to the hospital to get checkups.

It’s not a win-win situation at all.

I swear one day, I will crack under all the pressure.

And when I do, the cleaners won’t like it at all. Actually, nobody would like it at all. You won’t like me when I’m “uncontrollable”. Well, unless you’re into that sort of things. Which is then very disgusting.

Despite all that, I still have a lot of respect for toilet cleaners. If you’re a toilet cleaner that is somehow reading my post, I just want to let you know that I appreciate the things you do that makes the toilet that much of a better place.

Although I seriously doubt that I have readers that are toilet cleaners.

I know right?! After being absent for two weeks, my new post is about toilets…again.

EPIC FAIL.

Someone Got Raped?!

2011-09-03T18:53:00.001+08:00

If you are an observant person, you would know that I have a new post up every Saturday but I didn’t have one last week. The reason for that is because I was sick. Sick as a dog. First time falling ill in Auckland, and I’m still feeling the aftermath of it. It’s quite difficult to recover here because of the dry weather and all.

Anyway, let’s get to this post’s main topic.

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This might be quite stupid to some of you, but I know I’m not the only one out there like this. Probably in need of professional help?

Every time I walk down a hallway and if there’s a girl walking pass me, I get nervous. No, not because I’m shy or anything (maybe slightly) but because I’m afraid I might scare her.

You see, first impressions are hard to erase. And I hate being judged. So this happens:

Acting un-rapist since I started being into girls.

Not that I was ever into guys. I mean as I reached puberty and started developing a deeper interest in girls about 7-8 years ago. All these long explanations are not helping me at all honestly…

Another irrational fear of mine would be when I’m in a shop and I’m about exit from it. You know those alarm stands that they have for shops that beeps when items not paid for is passed through it?

Yes, I get nervous for no reason when I walk through it, afraid that it might suddenly beep, the alarm.

I know it’s designed for thieves but I would always be anxious that it might sound, even if I didn’t buy or steal anything from that shop.

Because I’ve seen it happened to others before and it’s quite embarrassing really. However, what do I care about being embarrassed? I mean, my blog is my witness!

…and you readers.

All these absurd and unnecessary fears, never needed but always there for me.

I know right, I’m such a choice for you girls out there. Ladies, please. I’m your catch 22.

Really, I am.

EPIC FAIL.

Follow Me On Twitter

2011-08-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

Lately, I noticed a lot of new users on Twitter. If you are on Twitter, you should follow me. Don’t worry, I follow back.

Why should you follow me? Why, I’m glad you asked. Let’s go!

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.

#1. Free virtual money.

I give out virtual online money.

Yes I do. When you click that follow button, you will suddenly gain free internet money! Who doesn’t want virtual online money?

I know I do. With virtual money, I can buy lots of virtual cupcakes! Why cupcakes? I don’t know!

#2. Laughs.

I think I am funny. Really, this isn’t narcissism. Okay, maybe a bit.

I even make myself laugh sometimes.

Not just regular chuckles, but ones that would hurt your stomach and make you pee in your pants! But I do that on purpose anyway to keep my thighs warm. So, am I funny?

#3. Interesting tweets.

Every now and then, I post up really mind-boggling tweets. Ones that would make you think out of the box. Tweets so complicated, it would make Inception’s concept at first seem easy to understand.

Yes, my tweets are pretty deep.

#4. Cool friends.

If you follow me, you’ll definitely be considered as a ‘cool’ person.

Even your friends will be jealous of you and wonder why they never thought of following me first.

Really, you’d be having so many friends, you wouldn’t even be able to remember all of their names. You would be the envy of others!

So if you’re still contemplating about following, stop it and just click that!

@ohJonathan

Why aren’t you following yet? What do you mean you don’t feel like it?! What do you mean you’re lazy to do it?!

I’ll pay you real cash…

EPIC FAIL.

Things To Do When The Internet Is Down

2011-08-13T21:25:00.005+08:00

One thing I have learnt here in New Zealand is that the internet is a very precious thing. Taken for granted at home, the internet here is never unlimited. There is always a quota and adjusting to it has been a very strenuous task for me.

Whenever I reached the quota, my internet connection speed will be cut down immensely. The speed is as good as not having internet at all, and that is an arduous thing.

So I thought, why not share some tips with you guys on what you can do when the internet is down or when you are taking a break from the online world.

Because I am a thoughtful person like that.

#1. You can start to do some house chores, because I know by having the internet you would have not done any of them at all.

Chores such as vacuuming the bed. Nobody said it cannot be done.

But then you soon realize that you do not have the internet and go into an ALL CAPS RAGE!

WHERE’S THE INTERNET!?

#2. You can learn to read a book.

Although there are plenty of reading materials on the web, nothing beats the old school way of reading, with a book.

Still, you cannot last long and soon flip out because you suddenly realize again that you do not have the internet!

#3. Have you heard about the website called donothingfor2minutes.com? Well, the title itself is quite explainable. It is about just doing nothing for 2 whole minutes, just relaxing. You can do that too by yourself without the internet.

Just relax and stay calm.

However, you and I know that this would not last for long.

Would not last for long at all.

#4. You can cut yourself.

No, really.

I hope that this guide has been helpful for you internet addicts. Remember, the first step towards curing is admitting that you have a problem.

Do not worry about me, I am okay without the internet.

Like a Boss

2011-08-06T20:15:00.001+08:00

How do I put this as the least addicted way?

I am obsessed with the internet. That didn’t help at all, did it?

What I meant is, that if you were to take the internet away from me just for a day, I would be the most depressed person in the face of the earth. That’s better.

I’m taking this time to blog about something that I’ve been reading or looking at a lot on the internet, and it got really big recently. And no, it’s not porn…that has been big since forever.

It’s internet memes!

What it is, is, an idea that is spread around via the internet. To help you get a better grip of it, think of the following as characters on the internet.

For instance, we have the Rage Guy (FFFFUUUUUU). He is a main character screaming with anger after something worth that much frustration, befalls.

Has this ever happen to you?

Just for no reason, you accidently knock your toe(s) against the edge of a door, or something solid, hard.

(ouch)

That’s when, you turn into RAGE GUY!

My personal favourite has got to be Me Gusta. Me Gusta means “it pleases me” in Spanish, but it’s often understood as “I like it” in English, so let’s keep it that way.

Typically, it’s used to respond to an awkward or disgusting event that you somehow like or find interesting.

This is my own Me Gusta experience.

When suddenly…

Then we have Forever Alone, which is normally used to express loneliness and disappointment with life.

And the one everyone can relate to, Trollface. It is meant to portray a face someone makes while trolling. Well, Trolling is something like fooling someone.

Trollface =

When you combine both memes, you have entertainment via the internet!

There are tons and heaps more and you can find out more through http://knowyourmeme.com. It’s a great site for you to start knowing about all these, and start reading the meme comics online.

Thus, as a consequence, I have departed internet knowledge through my blog,

LIKE A BOSS. (also a some kind of meme)

Sheep Wool By Rosie

2011-08-01T22:26:00.001+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. The myth has finally been broken.

It happened a few days ago, while I was driving to open houses (I’m moving, but that’s another story) and just exploring the place more. Suddenly, right at the corner of my eyes, I spotted something that I should’ve seen almost two months ago. A sheep.

Once I saw it, I slammed on my breaks real hard, and caused quite a pandemonium. Let’s just say it was quite an outrage by the other drivers.

I went to what I saw and turns out, it was in a park.

And there they were. Looking all fluffy and delicious. And warm, all because of their comfortable looking wool.

Finally, the drought has come to an end. I’ve seen farm animals in New Zealand.

It’s because before I came over to New Zealand, I made a deal with my friends that as soon as I saw them, I must take pictures as proof. Funny thing was, the first time I saw them, I wanted to get their attention. For some reason, I whistled and clapped and did all those tricks that you would normally do to a dog. People stared like I was flaky or something. Well, the jokes on them, because I ALMOST had their attention.

Plus, I didn’t do the “baa baa black sheep” thing…until later!

Anyhow, so this is kind of the deal.

At first, I thought some of them were goats. Yes, because I sometimes really can’t tell the difference. In my defense, they are closely related to one another.

But then I thought, would goats have wools? I don’t think so. Goats only have milk. And horns.

So there you have it guys, sheep in the big city. I saw cows too, but I’ve seen plenty of them back in Malaysia. And I may be referring to people instead.

Ouch!

In an unrelated note, I saw Rosie Huntington’s FHM cover!

Hold on, it is related! You see what’s on her body? Fur. And where could that have come from? Sheep wool!

Please don’t judge me…

EPIC FAIL.

Hooker

2011-07-26T22:15:00.001+08:00

Before you over-excite yourself just from the title of this post, this is in fact, nothing sexual like that or in any way you’re thinking of now.

Remember when I once said on my blog, in a post, that New Zealand is a dirty country; not in the sense that it’s literally dirty, but as in a filthy way.

This was spotted somewhere nearby the place where I live here in Auckland.

Not only is it a prostitute, but it’s open for inspection!

It can’t get any more misguided than this.

Few days later, I passed by the same spot to check out the publication again, but I guess they figured out something was wrong with it and made some adjustments.

They moved it to a less prominent area.

Same thing, but more confusing!

That specific proclamation was actually by a real estate company. I guess you can say that it’s predictable that they’d always “sleep on the job” right?!

WHAT UP!

EPIC FAIL.

HSONJTD#2: Emma Watson Vs Bonnie Wright

2011-07-23T16:57:00.001+08:00

At last, I’ve decided to make a new category of post that would make me and many other guys reading this very happy, I hope. ‘Cause I know I’ll have tons good time while doing this new section.

I would like to call this one, Hotness Showdown On Johnny, That Dude. Basically, what I do is, I’ll choose two girls, they can be actresses, models, singers, even Youtubers. Then, I’ll compare them and see who is the hotter of the two.

Tested it out with Rosie-Huntington Whiteley Vs Megan Fox, and I quite like it.

And I won’t let this one die out like my previous one, “What Would Johnny Say”. It doesn’t work, that one so I’m letting it go, so you can actually bid it goodbye. R.I.P WWS. You were my failure.

So moving on to the good part.

Recently, the new and last Harry Potter film was released. That marked the end of an era. There will be no more Voldermort, Hermoine, or Ron Weasley on the big screen anymore after this one. Definitely no more Harry Potter as well.

Thus, this post is specially made for such a sad yet glorious occasion, so the good times could still roll on. By celebrating the movie’s hotties!

Really sorry that I sound like such a pervert.

This round’s matchup, we have Emma Watson who plays Hermoine Granger and Bonnie Wright, who plays Ginny Weasley in the movie.

Emma Watson.

Her rise to fame was obviously through the Harry Potter series. Did you know besides Harry Potter, she has not starred in any other show? Well, except for one little TV movie.

How could she not have directors or casting directors or producers come looking for her? Is she not good enough!?

One of her biggest change in recent years was her haircut. And of course, her looks. That all happened when she hit puberty. And we all got to watch her grow from a small little girl to an attractive and beautiful actress. It all sounds disgusting somehow. I shall stop now.

I don’t really know how to feel about her hairstyle. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of it at all. When I was younger, I used to think that girls with long hair are the better. I think I’m still sticking with that suggestion of mine.

There’s no denying the fact that she’s hot though. She might not have the hair, but she definitely has the body.

What I know for sure is that my fondness for her will deepen when her hair grows back. And I do hope she’ll leave it long now, because I think long hair suits her more.

And of course, her British accent. A point for Gryffindor!

I just can’t wait for her hair to grow! It’s slowly turning longer…

Our next contestant is Daniel Radcliffe’s lover in the movie,

Bonnie Wright.

Somehow, she looks like Adele the singer, to me. Both are British anyway.

I have to admit, I only started paying attention to Bonnie in the last 2 Harry Potter films. It’s like she suddenly grew to become more eye-catching in the last 2.

A pretty redhead she is. Or what the others call it, a ginger.

She has acted in a few other movies besides Harry Potter, but none as big as her role in Harry Potter. But I must say, she deserved more lines in all of the movies.

She has the good girl kind of look, the “proper lady” style, if you know what I mean.

You don’t?
Here, have a picture of her.

I actually find her really pretty and attractive. I wouldn’t call her hot, but I could live with that.

And again, British accent. Another point for Gryffindor!

In this degree, it’s actually quite difficult for me to pick a winner. Emma has lost points because of her hair and Bonnie is too proper.

Emma or Bonnie?

Or would you prefer Daniel Radcliffe?

I too, find that picture disturbing on so many levels…

In all seriousness, there had to be one winner. And it was a tough time choosing for me but I had to go with…

…

EMMA WATSON.

She wins, but just by a bit. You know you’re gonna be looking for her again when her hair grows back to her usual long length.

Congratulations, Emma Watson. You’re now officially on my list.

P/s: Have I ever mentioned that I would love to have Emma’s short hair?

Racist Cow

2011-07-18T21:39:00.001+08:00

I wasn’t expecting this at all. Plus I found this at a branded supermarket whose name I will not expose here, ‘cause it’s irrelevant anyway.

Initially, I was looking for some food supplies in the supermarket. As an Asian and being a typical one, I looked for noodles. But of course, when it comes to me cooking, it’s all about the instant type ones. Better if it’s in a cup.

Basically, I was just looking for cup noodles.

Then I saw a familiar brand, Maggi, one I usually eat back in Malaysia. So I browsed through the different types of flavor they had to offer. I saw one that I liked, “Beef Noodles”.

As I was reaching for it, I spotted another. Which was almost the same thing, but quite different as well.

It said…”Asian Beef Noodles”.

I was like…

…

IS THIS RACISM?

Because really, it totally feels like it! What’s the difference between the normal “Beef Noodles” and the “Asian Beef Noodles”?

There was only one possible answer in my head. Maybe it’s because the normal “Beef Noodles” was made to taste like a normal cow from New Zealand.

And the “Asian Beef Noodles” was to taste like this kinds of cow. I did my research, there are different types of look for a cow. Obviously, my research was a very lazed one. Not to mention, inaccurate…

However, I still feel that it’s quite racist for Maggi to do that. They should take away the normal “Beef Noodles”, ‘cause everybody knows that the “Asian Beef Noodles” taste the best.

Why?

Two words.

ASIAN COW.

AND IF YOU’RE ASIAN,

BAM!

My Love For Toilets

2011-07-13T23:13:00.001+08:00

I’m taking a break from my other posts to blog about something special to me. My school toilet. Nope, I didn’t make any mistake. The topic for this post is, in fact, my school’s toilet.

For starters, I’ve been using this toilet much, ‘cause it’s the only one I know of. So, being the attentive me, I observe around a lot. And what I discovered is that, there are a few of these notice flyer on the walls. At first glance, it seemed normal.

But then, if you were to examine it properly and thoroughly, you’d find something wrong with it. Just like how I did.

It’s not something serious, just a minor grammar mistake, but to think that New Zealand is an English-based country. I thought I’d only spot this kind of mistakes back at home. Maybe they should have proofread it before putting it up…

And one more thing.

One thing I noticed about the toilet doors there is that they are really secure. No, I mean really. Look at the locks they have!

Triple locks! Why do they need so many of them? Is it because…

People will break in and peep in this school?! Like sexual predators?

Well, if that’s the case, I’m not afraid. ‘Cause it might just scare them with my size!

You know, scare them ‘cause it’s big. Not because it’s small. Why would it be small? Why would I shock them with a small thing? What? No…it’s big alright. No, really. REALLY!

(IN DENIAL)

EPIC FAIL.

Bless You

2011-07-08T22:09:00.001+08:00

When do we normally say “bless you” to another person?
Either when we’re feeling holy…or when someone sneezes.

At first I wanted to put some scientific explanation about sneezing here, but after checking out Wikipedia about it, let’s just say it’s an explosion of air from the lungs through the nose and mouth. It’s also a great way to spread diseases.

Sneezing is a natural thing, but sneezing loudly is not.

Everyone has experienced people who sneezes like it’s a shouting competition. And to make it worse, they don’t close their mouth. (Bad news: If you’ve not, it’s probably you)

The reason I brought it up is because just the other day, I experienced the same thing. What made it worst was that we were in an elevator. Can’t escape and the germs will all be trapped…with us in there. And I felt that person’s saliva on my face…

It’s shocking and disgusting at the same time. Because out of nowhere, they’d burst out with germs all coming out at the same time. Even if you don’t get sick, you’d die of heart-attack.

Isn’t it embarrassing for that person? I’ve seen it happen in malls as well. Malls has a lot of people, so it’s normally clamorous. But that one person can sneeze so, so loud, it catches everyone’s attention in the mall. And then they’d act like nothing happened. Like a boss.

I know sneezing is a sudden thing, but in that split second, you can feel it coming for sure. That’s your que to either close your mouth (with your hands…and then wipe it on someone’s face) or turn away.

Actually, sneezing loudly would be the worst thing to do in public toilets.

They’d shock everyone and pee will be flying everywhere! (Then you can see everyone’s junk. Or ke-diong-diong. Or Willy Wonka’s)

I for one choose to sneeze like a pussy.

No really, I’ve mastered the arts of sneezing without sound, with your mouth closed. It’s like keeping everything back in. Makes you feel like you’re having an explosion in you. Probably not the best thing for yourself, but you help make toilets a much more comfortable place to pee.

And by the way, saying “excuse me” after you gave everyone diseases and a cardiac arrest doesn’t make a difference.

AND IF YOU’RE ASIAN,

BAM!

Names You Expect From A Comic Book

2011-07-04T17:24:00.001+08:00

But never for different type of tea names.

When I first saw them in the shop, I was like, “Are they for real? This is an actual name?”. How could you blame me when you name a product that sounds like it has something to do with Dragon Ball?

Jasmine Dragon Pearl?

Were they, for some reason, made of Dragon’s balls? More importantly, where did they get the dragon?

They even had something that you didn’t know was probable to consume in any way possible.

GUN POWDER?

How is that even logical?

However, there was still one more that wasn’t really that bad. It seemed cute, in fact.

Can’t make a decision on which tea leaf buds to use?

Then this next one is just for you!

MONKEY PICK.

Because sometimes, it’s better to let the animals make the decision for you.

EPIC FAIL.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley VS Megan Fox

2011-07-01T20:25:00.001+08:00

When Transformers 3 was first released, I made a promise to myself that I had to watch it as soon as I could. If possible, on the same day it was first shown in the cinemas. And I did myself proud. I’ve seen the movie, on the very day it was released here in New Zealand.

One of the biggest complains about the movie was no doubt about the leading actress, for obvious reasons. There’s no more Mikaela in the Transformers series, played by Megan Fox. And because there’s no more Mikaela, there’s, of course, no more Megan Fox.

When the news first came out about the absence of Fox on Transformers 3 in late 2009, many were upset and furious about how she was one of the biggest factor on the success of the film series, and that the ratings of the third installment would go down.

Hey, that’s what you get for calling the director of the movie “Hitler”.

Who can replace such an iconic figure for the film series? Remember this famous part, all the way back to 2007, from the first Transfomers?

Losing her was indubitably painful for some. Who would they use next? Who can match her hotness level? Who could succeed No.2 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2009?

Then the director, Michael Bay chose Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

When they first announced that Rosie was going to be Megan’s substitute in the movie last year, my first reaction was to Google more about her. When I did, I was blown away by her beauty. I mean, Megan Fox was unbelievably hot. But Rosie, she was gorgeous.

She could have been Victoria’s Secret all along (‘cause she is a Victoria’s Secret model. I know, very bad word play)!

I was excited to watch her in the movie. I was one of those people who supported her instead of Megan Fox and still am.

If you’ve watched the third Transformers, you’d find it very difficult to get the first scene where she appears in the movie for the first time, out of your head. All I could say is…

Up until now, people are still comparing those two. And I don’t blame them, ‘cause I too, am doing that so often now. It’s actually pretty hard to get determine the winner out of those two.

Megan Fox. People like her because of how she looks. She has the sexy, devilish face that could turn a man into a beast. Like, RAWR.

And that impeccable body of hers, no wonder guys go crazy over her. I admit, I was one of them. However, she did go for plastic surgery to get that look of hers. So that has got to minus some points off. To add on, she’s married. ):

But you can still droll over her body. It’s still good.

On the other hand, we have Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Her face may not be as sexy looking as Megan’s, but that lips is something I love about her.

There is just something about thick lips that I find very, very attractive. Her lips are just beautiful. I think I may have lip fetish. And that’s what you call, too much information.

Another plus point would be that she’s English. Accent+lips+body+looks = Rosie Huntington.

Although Rosie’s No 1. on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2011, and very well justified, something should be said about her acting skills. With Transformers 3 being her very first movie, her acting skills were pretty average for a leading actress. Although in the movie, her role was pretty much to just run and scream (spoiler, perhaps?).

So who’s your money on now?

Is it the sexy, devil woman who every guy once felled for?

Or is it the new girl, the pouty lips Englishwoman? With a fantastic pair of legs, I might add.

I have made my decision. It was a hell of a tough one, but I had to come up with an answer.

AND THE WINNER IS…

OPTIMUS PRIME?!

Dirty Town

2011-06-28T22:12:00.001+08:00

When I think of ‘dirty’ in Malaysia or Kuala Lumpur, by its own nature, I’d consequently imagine big piles of rubbish everywhere.

You can’t blame me for that because it’s part of our nature. Those kind of scenes aren’t exactly difficult to find back home. But that’s okay, we’re working on it. Malaysia’s the best!

However, if you were to think of New Zealand’s ‘dirty’, what goes through your mind? When there are leaves on the ground?

I, for one, think that it’s an more of an incredible scenery.

After almost 2 months here (I know right, time flies), I finally figured out what comes to mind when you visualize ‘dirty’ in New Zealand.

THIS:

Honestly, these are the only types of ‘dirty’ I can spot in Auckland so far. Not that I’ve keen eyes for things like these…

There’re a lot of of them. These kinds.

I can’t stop discovering ‘dirty’ things!

See, another one!

Well, ladies. You know what they say. Positive attracts the positive. (;

So that means I’ve a lot of sex appeal. Am I right? Right? Or it could also mean that in my mind, I’m always having ‘dirty’ thoughts…

EPIC FAIL.

The Montana Twister

2011-06-23T22:22:00.001+08:00

Just a few days ago, I was clearing up my laptop’s hard drive. Going over all the pictures, files, videos, songs and such just to make some space up. Too many unwanted files taking up spaces in it.

While doing so, I stumbled upon a few old pictures that were supposed to be up on my blog, but somehow, it slipped out of my mind. Well, it isn’t really that old, but it was taken back in Malaysia.

As far as I can recall, I was in a shop. You know those shops in KL that are like cheap ones? I mean, the things they sell were cheap, China made ones. I’m not looking down on other countries, I’m just saying all of them were made in China! (Okay, not really helping my case.)

Before I go into it more, do you readers still remember Hannah Montana?

You know, since the whole show ended, people might have forgotten about it. What about me? Well, let’s just say…never.

(DIE HARD FAN ALERT)

Just kidding…a little bit. (Isn’t it offensive that the “Hannah” part is right on my crotch area, now that she’s legal, although it has nothing to with that, none whatsoever?)

So, you know how China products like to imitate other brands? Or in this case, other shows. That’s when I came across, “The Hannah Montana Twister” in the shop!

I don’t even know where to start…

How could you see this and not take a picture? It’s more fun than discovering gold!

You cannot deny the fact that she looks like a doll here. Which is ironic, because it’s from China! Like, China doll.

And if you were to stare at her face long enough, it looks like Chucky, like it’s gonna kill you in your sleep. Just like what dolls would do…

No, really, just look at her face.

I heard, that if you fail or lost in that game of Twister, Hannah would pop out of the box and sing you a song as punishment.

That’s the fun part! You get to play Twister and also meet Hannah Montana! Que the theme music! “You get the best of both worlds, chillin’ out take it slow, then you rock out the show!”

I may or may not know the lyrics to the whole song…

AND IF YOU’RE ASIAN,

BAM!

The Pull

2011-06-20T22:39:00.001+08:00

They say that you’d eat a lot during the cold weather. New Zealand has turned me back to what I was in form 1, plus more. I am fat.

Just kidding! All thanks to the FatBooth app for Iphone. But still, can’t stop memories of standard 6 and form 1…

You know how people from other countries come over to New Zealand and open up their own restaurants or stalls? And then you’d have like Thai bazaars, Indian stalls, Japanese shops, and also my very own favorite, Malaysian restaurants.

I’ve been seeing a lot of those lately in Auckland (mainly, the city), and I’m just glad to see Malaysians here, living the same lifestyle as I am.

Wait, a minute, what’s on that menu?

Seriously? You see that?

Confirm not Malaysian already.

You’re asking why? Really?

What on earth do they mean by, “The Tarik”? I know they actually meant “Teh Tarik”, but misspelling “Teh” is like…changing the whole meaning of “Teh Tarik” (‘Tarik’ means pull in Malay).

THE PULL.

This is the only thing that came to my mind when I saw “The Tarik”. It makes it sound so grand and epic. It’s like, the must have drink. It’s, THE DRINK.

I can never stop being amused by the stuff here.

By the bye, I was right. The store owners were from Hong Kong. They just tried getting every Asian drink they can find and put them on the menu. And did you see the price on “The Tarik”? $3.50! However, would you expect anything less from The Drink?

AND IF YOU’RE ASIAN,

BAM!

Fresh Meat

2011-06-16T20:50:00.001+08:00

Do they have shops like these in Malaysia? If there is, then I’ve not seen one yet back at home. Like a whole shop dedicated to meat only. A butcher shop.

This is one of the ways Kiwis get their meat. Either from shops like these or supermarkets.

The first time I went inside this specific meat shop, I was astonished. I was in awe. Just like in my dreams, a shop just for meat!

Endless supply of mouth-watering “nourishments”. When I looked around, I felt a tingling sensation in me. Not that I was Spiderman, but it was the moment I realized that I can never, ever be a vegetarian. People who know me well, knows that I like my meat. An indubitable, true fact (Don’t get me wrong, even if I like meat, I’m all against animal cruelty).

Fresh ones or frozen ones, they have it all. I probably jumped around the place like a madman with joy because I discovered something even more valuable than gold to me (This is also the moment I realized that I’m very, very easily satisfied…).

But then something seemed eccentric.

I spotted something that wasn’t right. It made me question myself again, is this really a meat shop? I mean, if this is really a legitimate meat shop, then…why would they be selling toilet rolls as well?

There should be a pertinent explanation to this, I thought. You know, unless…the toilet rolls are made out of meat as well!

Especially goat meat. Fresh goat meat.

Either that, or they’re hinting something to the customers. Something like…

“Our meat are the cheapest there is! However…it’s not the cleanest too. Get some toilet rolls, just in case!”

But…I bought a lot from them! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?!

EPIC FAIL.

Sorry I Exploded

2011-06-13T18:47:00.001+08:00

Ever since I’ve been here, I’ve had a lot of people asking me how am I doing. I like how people are genuinely concerned about my well being or just being a busybody. Either way, I’m grateful for people actually caring.

But here’s the thing. Being asked about how you’re doing is one thing. Being asked about how you’re doing for more than a hundred times is a different thing. Repetition’s not cool. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that people actually take the time to ask about me, but I’m getting tired of explaining the same thing over and over again. I swear, if I were to repeat myself one more time, I’m going to explode.

The very Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) would be:

1. How’s New Zealand / How are you doing?

It was convivial at first when I kept on replying “cold”. However, people wanted more elaboration. So people, New Zealand is doing fine. They’re experiencing winter now and it’s getting colder day by day. And if what you meant really was how I was I doing in NZ instead, well, I’m pretty much the same I guess. The same, without my friends, family and all things that are good in Malaysia.

Just for extra information and the sake of it, I started school last week (7/6/11). The institute said it was going to be orientation only. Orientation week, my foot! Actually started our syllabus on the third day itself and exams are coming up already.

And they’ve a dress code there, just like every other IT school or course.

Office or formal wear only. No jeans, no shorts, nothing fancy. So everyday, I got to wear slacks. The last time I wore like that was during graduation…

2. What’s the big difference between New Zealand and Malaysia?

Well, I know you guys are probably bored of this already, because I’ve said it lots of times, but the biggest change for me would have to be the weather. I’ve mentioned about this before, so I’m not going to touch on this anymore.

But seriously, how could you not notice any difference if you were to come Malaysia and live in New Zealand? Come on, even vandalization, they do it moderately. They’ve a limit or a box for that too.

Here, I hardly get to exercise too. Unlike Malaysia, they don’t have basketball courts or badminton courts everywhere. For that reason, it’s quite difficult to even sweat here.

With that being said, I found a park nearby the place where I live. Their park here is greener than our National Stadium back at home.

I’ve been going there ever since for jogs, just to exercise and maybe sweat a little. Every morning, before I head to school, I’ll go for a run or two. It’s quite big, the field, mind you.

Sometimes, you might even get chased around…

3. Why no sheep?

Up until now (I’ve been here for more than a month already by the way), I’ve not seen a single sheep!

I did however see plenty of them on TV! But that shouldn’t could, right?

4. New blog look?

Something happened to my old blog layout, it messed up. There were no title bar anymore! I actually liked that layout a lot but there was nothing that I can do to the HTML templates that could restore it.

So, goodbye old blog layout. You will be missed.

R.I.P. (2009-2011)

AND IF YOU’RE ASIAN,

BAM!

Shopping Mood

2011-06-02T21:29:00.001+08:00

Almost every weekend here in Auckland, I have to follow my mother to grocery shops to help her, well, buy groceries of course. Normally we’d go back home with heaps and heaps of bags full of comestibles, but that’s not the point.

What I’ve noticed is that the shops here likes to put on music for shoppers. Actually, I’m not sure whether it’s really for the shoppers or the workers there just to entertain them for a bit, so that they aren’t that bored working there.

The bugaboo isn’t about putting on music. Rather it’s more about the type of music they put on. 9 times out of 10 when I enter those grocery stores, they’re either playing sad songs or slow ones. This isn't helping the shoppers at all. Shopping for groceries is already monotonous enough, plus with such songs. That’s bad.

People say that music affects the mood. And damn, that true. If you put on sad music, the atmosphere would be even duller than it is. Plus, shoppers won’t have the mood to buy things from you, and you’ll be losing business!

But here’s the catch. You can’t put on music that is too lively either. Probably not a good idea to put on party music, or house music, whatever the hell you call them. (Cause then they’d be shuffling everyday!)

Rock music is a definite no-no. Rap too is not the bestest of ideas. Shoppers may start pulling out guns and shooting each other. Gangsta.

Choosing the appropriate songs is crucial, I would say. I think songs that are just nice would do the trick. For example, try Friday by Rebecca Black!

FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY.

Oh, right.

It’s difficult to find the right ones. Maybe they should be like the ones in Malaysia, no music at all. Only peace signs everywhere! Because…

If you’re Asian,

BAM!

Banananana (Dole!)

2011-05-30T18:31:00.001+08:00

Before anything else, please watch this video of a commercial from Japan.

Amazing how a 16-second long video can perplex you, right? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. I too, was discombobulated. Things Japanese can do in 16 seconds.

I wasn’t going to write about it until I saw the brand here.

Dole, spotted!

It’s big in New Zealand. I’m not sure about it back home in Malaysia, but it’s everywhere here! I guess it’s one of the big fruit companies here. Well, in this case, banana company.

Basically, the commercial is something of a Japanese superhero (?) that has the powers of a banana. He makes people happy and satisfied with bananas (This line sounds so very wrong).

That Banana Man might be okay with Japanese people, but if I were to see anyone who has the power of Bananas…or looks as terrifying as that, they would scare the pants off of me. And if I weren’t wearing any, then they would spook me.

Plus bananas are one of my least favourite fruits. And also watermelons. Not to mention papayas too.

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Bananaman!

This would make the worst superhero ever. It’s undeniable that bananas are very vulgar looking when one eats them. I’m just saying.

Oh, you Japanese people.

ASIANS. ^_^\/

Smile! You’re On Candid Camera

2011-05-26T17:26:00.001+08:00

New Zealanders are very creative people.

You can see the spot the vast difference between the creativity of the Kiwis in comparison to us Malaysians. But you see, sometimes, they get too “innovative” themselves.

I’m not sure if there’s these kinds in Malaysia that I’m not aware of, but this has got to be the first time I see something like that.

Well, it’s not something really horrendous or atrocious, yet, it’s not something meritorious either.

I saw this in a store nearby my place the other day.

Looking at this sign, I tried thinking if I ever caught sight of these kind of signs in a small store.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that in Malaysia. Ordinarily, these signs would only say “This Shop Is Under 24 Hour Surveillance Camera”, more of less.

Thus, I, being a Malaysian, a “jakun” Malaysian, can’t see these kind of signs and not make fun of them. And I can only think of one.

SMILE!

(I’m a robber!)

Or if you’re Asian,

SMILE!

(I’m an Asian thief!)

They asked me to smile what.

Problem?

Kiasu

2011-05-23T15:47:00.001+08:00

I don’t usually use a Chinese/Hokkien word as my post’s title but that was the word the came to my mind first.

You see, it’s difficult to get groceries here when we’re so used to the ones back home. In Malaysia, you have wet markets and such. Here, all you have are supermarkets. So we had to find those Chinese grocery shops around the city or town to get what we really needed.

They’ve plenty of those here with a great variety of foodstuffs.

But because they have so many of those shops here, it has become sort of a competition. That’s when the word “kiasu” comes to mind. The definition of the word means the fear of losing.

Because for the first time, I saw a lot of trophies in a store. Something I don’t get until now, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TROPHIES FROM OPENING A GROCERY SOTRE?

Probably won the “Most Convenient Shop” award and also the “Kiasu Shop” award.

They were so gloriously and proudly exhibiting their trophies. There were actually quite a number of them.

If I were to open up a grocery store, I’d only have one award up there, majestically displayed. It would be The “Most Profitless Shop” award…

EPIC FAIL.

I Am Journalist

2011-05-19T14:03:00.001+08:00

The other day, I was at this supermarket here in Auckland. It was kind of my first time in a supermarket in Auckland, but then again, there weren’t much difference between theirs here and the ones back in Malaysia.

I came across this big notice board at one part of the supermarket. It’s where people advertise about their things or services (genuine, clean ones, mind you). I was bowled over that space because I don’t think I’ve seen such a thing in Malaysia’s supermarket. Either that, or I’m an antiquated person.

As astonished as I was (I do realize that I’m easily amazed…), I noticed this advertisement in this specific little card. There was something really wrong with it…

An English tutor asking for students.

However, he is no ordinary English tutor. He is Journalist!

You know, at first, you have I AM LEGEND.

Soon after, you have the very meritorious, I AM NUMBER FOUR.

Finally, after such a long and gruesome wait, you finally have the all exalted, I AM JOURNALIST.

My apologies. After spotting that card and reading that line, I am Journalist, I couldn’t get that out of my head. I knew that I needed to make a spoof out of it.

Just kidding New Zealand, you know I love you.

But not as much I love Malaysia. They are the best. No competition.

By the bye, I may go into journalism in the future. So it is affirmed that I’d be a retarded one…

EPIC FAIL.

A Week In New Zealand

2011-05-16T18:16:00.001+08:00

Since my last post, it has been over a week since I’ve been here in New Zealand. I’m forced to adjust to the lifestyle here and even though I hate to admit it, I’m slowly settling down here.

Goodbye was hard. It was expected but you wouldn’t really understand the full blow until you experience it yourself on that day.

I can still remember clearly how I felt on that day. It was something I wish I’ll never have to encounter again, this situation. I left with a heavy heart.

It was also the day I knew that I was a chick magnet.

…and also partly because I paid each one of them.

As I expected, New Zealand’s scenery is really pleasant. Like what one of my friends said, I’m going to a place with greener pastures…literally.

New Zealand has a lot of Asians. I can’t put this more direct, but it’s true. Sometimes, I’d feel like I’m in some Asian country, till I come across white people.

New Zealanders or Kiwis, are really polite people. They take manners to a whole new level. Heck, even the bus drivers are really nice people. Not in the pedophile kinda way, but polite and well-mannered. Can you imagine, you’d get stared at by a lot of people if you don’t say “Thank you” or “Please”.

I’m not used to being surrounded by so many well-mannered people. Somehow, I’d over think things and feel like something’s fishy everywhere. It makes sense, right?

The weather is definitely the biggest difference between New Zealand and Malaysia. Here in New Zealand, you’d experience the four seasons which are, winter, spring, summer, and autumn. In Malaysia, you’d also experience four seasons, which are, very hot, extremely hot, painfully hot, and “ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME, SO HOT!”.

In Malaysia, you’d normally go to the mall to cool yourself down from the very hot weather. In New Zealand, you’d go to the mall to warm yourself from the very cold weather.

On an average day, I’d have to wear three layer of clothing just to keep myself from getting a cold.

There’s another T-shirt on the inside, by the way…

The food here is almost the same as Malaysia’s, but of course, nothing beats home. They’ve plenty of Asian restaurants here but nothing taste as good as the original ones back at their respective countries.

In a week that I’ve been here, I had three Mcdonalds’ meal already. Because their Big Macs taste so very fresh! And it’s cheap here, if you don’t convert the dollars back to Malaysian ringgit.

One thing about the food here is that it comes in very big portions. Their portion for a person here is as big as portions for two to three people back in Malaysia. I’m finding it very difficult to finish my meals.

This picture shows what’s left after half of it was eaten. HALF!

As much as I want to enjoy what New Zealand has to offer, and I’m trying really hard to do so, believe me, it’s that much more tougher when there are constant reminder of home everywhere.

In an indirect way…

And in a way that can’t be anymore direct…

All in all, New Zealand may be a land of many opportunities for me, but my heart will always be home, with my friends. You know, the saying, home is where the heart it. Definitely, Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur.

And for the record, their Sky Tower has nothing on our own Petronas Twin Power. (;

By the way, so far, I’ve not seen a single farm animal…yet. Don’t dare to explore the outskirts to see sheeps outnumbering people…

EPIC FAIL.

I’m Never Good In Goodbyes

2011-05-07T10:04:00.001+08:00

When I was 14, my parents once told me, “You’re going to study in New Zealand, just like what your sister is doing now”. I couldn’t give a damn back then because it was still quite some time before I turn 18.

Here I am right now, 2011, 18 years of age, just a day/a week more till the I fly over to New Zealand, depending on when I decide to post this up.

I’ve always thought of going to colleges or universities here in Malaysia. It has never even crossed my mind to go anywhere else, what more living in some place where I know is going to be much quieter than Malaysia. Call me patriotic, but I sincerely love Malaysia. Why, is it because of the food? The diverse culture? That might probably only contribute to some of the reasons why. It’s pretty simple, I’ve everything I have and need here.

Sometimes, I don’t get my parents. They said that I’d have a better lifestyle there in New Zealand with a much safer environment. Yes, I do agree to that, but is it worth putting down everything here and just leave? I would very much prefer living on the edge with all that keeps me going here, then to go New Zealand and bore myself to death.

My parents kept saying that I should give myself a chance and try to experience living there. What life is there, when shops/malls/places closes at 5 PM!

Still, this question still lingers around, with my parents never being able to answer me: Why go there and start a new life, when you have everything here.

But, whatever the answers are, it’s too late now. I’ve already been accepted there, plane tickets have been booked, visa has been accepted, there’s no turning back now.

I’m definitely leaving back a lot of loved ones, a lot of memories, a lot of everything. My friends, especially. Thus, this post right before the above, is to actually write how much I appreciate every single one of my buddies.

Let’s start with, the futsal gang. Every Saturday morning, I’m so used to waking up early and going to IMU to have futsal sessions. I’m not that good at it, but it’s always fun with them. Kevin, Wei Shern, Darren, Charles, Siew Hong, Jinhan, Choon Sien, Selwyn, Xiechiang, Kok Pin, basically the whole K.A.Y FC team, I thank you guys for being such great people and allowing me to join you guys for futsal almost every week. You guys are the reason why I think futsal is funny, intense, yet enjoyable at the same time. I’ll miss you guys when I wake up on Saturday mornings, with my legs feeling itchy, wanting to kick some balls. What so painful is that I don’t think I can find a futsal court there in NZ. I don’t even think they have ever heard of futsal!

Next we have what we call are used to calling them, The Chinatown/Mortal-Blockers. Kaa Wei, Khun Huat, Kar Lock, and Aaron Yong. You guys are the ones who accepted me when I was down in form 4 during the incident. I spent so much time with you guys, and man, was it worth it. I grew a lot closer to you guys than I did in form 3, and man, why didn’t I do that earlier! Kaa Wei, you are one tough cookie. We can go from very close brothers to sometimes quarrelling for not apparent reason. What I like is that we always tease each other (‘zat’ one another) and it’d be hilarious. Remember the time we climbed out from school to go to the cybercafé? How could you ever forget, I was hit by a bike! What I remember from it is that I was wearing your shirt. No idea why, but it’s quite memorable. Khun Huat, the planner. I know you as the guy who plans a lot of outings and such. I’ll miss trying to lick or kiss your hand. Or pinching your nipple. Hope you’ll remember me as the guy who likes your hands too much. Kar Lock, the man. The one with leadership characteristic. I loved sitting next to you in form 4, with so many stupid things we did. I still remember how you actually scolded a teacher, that was the first time I saw you being really mad. I’ll miss singing songs with you in front of the class, especially Michael Jackson’s, remember? I printed the lyrics for us to practice to perform in front of class, too bad that never happened. Aaron Yong, the one who treats me like a brother. Yes, I do remember you ‘signing’ me as your defender for god knows how many millions. I remember signing it and forcing you to! I’ll remember you as my captain, and I hope that you’ll forever remember me as a defender trained under you. EFC will forever be in my heart! And remember guys, WE ARE BROTHERS.

On the list, next, is my classmates. 4C and 5C. In my opinion those years were the best. We made the list as one of the noisiest, the one that made teachers cry, and the one with a lot of cheating in exams. I remember how the teachers would be extra careful when observing our class during exam. Man, fun times, fun times.

Now, I would like to go individually. Where it gets tough.

Prasad, known you since form 1, and man, how time has changed us. We hang out so much that since 13 years old, your house was like our second home, our base to meet. We used to go play basketball so much with Wen Chun and Brandon. I’ve always looked up to you because you were the big guy. It’s like you know everything, and you’ve experienced everything. I seriously can’t name a single thing that you’re afraid of. Remember difficult times for me during form 4? You were always the mutual one, still accepting me as a friend and still being there for me. For that, I thank you so much, and definitely, you were the glue that kept the group together. Man, I’ll miss going to your house (especially your mother’s curry), I’ll miss going to mamak with you and the group, I’ll miss all the crazy stories you’ll tell. This might be random, but for Deepavali this year, I’ll definitely think of you, because every year since 2006, during Deepavali, we’d all go to your house and have a good time. Unfortunately, I can’t be there this year, although I’d love to. Hey, take good care of your girlfriend, and I wish you guys the best. This is partly for Rizwana too, best wishes to you and Prasad and may you guys last forever. (:

Joshua. The first thing that comes to my mind would be ATM. I’m just kidding. But man. You are one laidback guy. You are always relaxed and although a bit quiet, but when you’re active, damn man. Only word to describe you during that time would be super sohai and I meant that in a good way. Especially when you’re playing DotA. I like how you take my jokes with such ease, because not a lot can do that. Sometimes, my jokes can be really mean and hurtful but I’m glad you don’t take them to heart (I think). I like how you’re so generous when it comes to friends. I like how you’re so easy going and just likes to go with the flow. Remember those stay-overs we’d have in Prasad’s place? And remember when we had went to the CC during the AM playing Counter-Strike? I’ll miss those spontaneous things we do, and I’ll most definitely miss you.

Vicknesh. You are a very very, very very, annoying friend. But that’s what makes you different from the others. The way you annoy me, it’s fascinating how you always manage to do it. From showing me your disgusting saliva, to flicking me, to actually asking me stupid questions. Man, I’ll miss those. I like how you can be very serious in one moment and be a total jackass in another. I like how you always think maturely, tries to act like one but fails, cause you have us around you. And don’t worry, your hair is nice. Make sure you’ve better, more awesome looking hair when I come back.

Ee-Wei. Known you since form 3, I would say. I’m still keeping the gift you and a another couple of friends got for me for my birthday. It’s a cap, you remember? The one with my name on it. I’m taking it to New Zealand, because everytime I look at it, it’d remind me of you! You’re laughing machine. I’m going to miss your laugh over there in New Zealand. Very much. Your laugh is unique, although we love to tease it. You’re one friend that goes with anything and everything. You’re favourite line would be, “Anything lah”, and I like that you’re so easy with that. And I like how every time I tease you and you’d pinch me, but it’s a very soft one. Can feel that you don’t have the heart to hurt your friends. (: Gonna miss teasing you when I’m over there. Hope that after when I come back here, you’d have a very macho and handsome boyfriend already. Or maybe by then you’ll fall for me because I’ll come back all buffed up and very looking real good. (:

Nicole. Known you since 2007, but only got close to you in 2009. And man, I regret not doing so earlier. You are one determined girl. When you put your heart into something, there’s no stopping you. And you’re also one total badass girl. You’d stand up to anyone that you feel isn’t right, and that’s something to be admired. I’m gonna miss your quirkiness over there in New Zealand. Do you remember how we met? As far as I can remember, when you were new in the school, you were walking along with Brandon in the assembly area towards the canteen and I just randomly just jumped out of nowhere and be like, “Hey, I’m Jonathan! Nicole right?” and you looked really freaked out. As far as I know, you’re still freaked out about me now! But in seriousness, I sincerely hope that you will go for your dreams (I think it’s 3 majors, right?), and all the best to you and Wen Chun. I’m gonna miss you so much over there in New Zealand. I can’t find another Nicole like this there! )’:

Wen Chun. The man with the plan. I don’t know, but that sounded cool. Dude. Known you since standard 3. That’s a hell of a long time to actually still be keeping in touch and be in the same group. I’m going to miss this darn smart friend of mine. I like how you’re very mature and knows what to do when a situation comes. You are one of the few that can get my jokes and sometimes, we think of the same ones too! That’s what you’d call brother from another mother. My fondest memory of us would be during every basketball session we’d have every Friday with the rest of them. Those were good times. Remember during one night during basketball, Prasad was recording the field in the community hall with his phone and he saw something flashed by. We all freaked the freak out and ran all the way to the nearest 7-11. That was darn epic. And I will never forget how I was chokeslam on a table just for fun during standard 3. Wow, how time flies. Man, I’ll miss you. Hope that when I come back, your relationship with Nicole would still be as strong as ever, and you’d still be in school. Just teasing a little. (:

Brandon. You are what I consider as THE FRIEND. As in, the one I connects with the most. Do you still remember how we met? Apparently, the first words I said to you were, “Got MSN?”. I roughly remembered that but I remember my first impression of you was, “Gangster kid”. Oh, how wrong was I. We had our ups and downs, but look where we are now. I can remember how I used to always ask you advice about girls, and you were like my sensei. It’s like you know everything about them, and I’d be in awe. Best times were when we did covers. Man those time were hilarious and fun. Until now, when I watch our covers, I would laugh out really loud. And how can I forget about the performances we did together with Ezra (Gonna miss you too, buddy). And how I missed the first line of the song…You are one who gets my jokes and I’d always get yours too. No matter how out of this world they are. That’s something special there, not everyone can connect like we do. I’m going to miss your laugh, and how when you laugh too hard, you snort. Definitely gonna miss the snort. Concert times were the best too. Good Charlotte (semi), All-American Rejects, and Paramore, we went for them all. Man, I’m going to miss you buddy. I seriously will.

To the rest, Ezra, Jeremy, Hevin, Nabilah, DIONE, Chee Wan, Aileen, Mei Yan, I too am going to miss you guys like crazy. I mean, how can I adapt to life without a whole big group of friends? I can’t.

A lot of people would ask me, why miss your friends so much? They’re just friends anyway, you’d meet plenty when you go over to New Zealand.

Yes, I know I will. But I’ll never meet anyone as close as this bunch is to me.

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO VERY MUCH. GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU GUYS MEAN TO ME.

One more thing. What friends? They’re family.

Amusement In Langkawi (Part 2)

2011-04-04T03:22:00.001+08:00

My trip to Langkawi was almost two weeks ago, but I can still vividly picture the place. To be honest, Langkawi is a nice place for a getaway.

Somehow, the empty fields there were really good places to actually relax and enjoy what nature has to offer. Not to sound petty, but it’s true.

One of the activities we did there was paying a visit to the so called ‘Snake Sanctuary’. I swear, when we went there, we were the only group of people or visitors there.

They had a little show there, where they brought out snakes and just messed around with them. And by messing around with them, I meant kissing them and pissing them off.

Based on the amount of people, I would say that it could have been quite a long time since they actually did a show. I was half-expecting the guy performing to actually get bitten by the snakes. But they were professionally good. Unfortunately…

Like every snake show, after the performances, you can actually touch and take pictures with the snakes.

It’s all cool. Until when you come to a Python. Here’s a fact you probably already knew, Pythons weighs a lot. And it’s their nature to curl around their prey and squeeze them.

And that was what happened to us.

While taking pictures with the snake, we could actually feel the snake slowly trying to curl around us and squeeze us.

Of course, nothing happened. It was my first time having a snake around me so I apologize for making a big thing out of it.

Just one thing I don’t get about this Snake Sanctuary place.

Since when were spiders counted as snakes?

EPIC FAIL.

Amusement In Langkawi (Part 1)

2011-03-31T17:08:00.001+08:00

The other day, I went on a trip to Langkawi with a few friends of mine. By a few, I meant 10 of us. So it was quite a big group.

Before the trip, I’ve only been to Langkawi once I think. But that was when I was about 1 years old so I don’t think it counts. Cause when you’re 1, you don’t remember a single thing. Except sucking on…things.

Anyway, one thing that I’ve learned about Langkawi during my trip there was that, even though stuff in Langkawi is much more cheaper than anywhere in Malaysia, nothing there is free. And I really mean nothing at all.

Even for a chair, you got to rent for 10 bucks!

See? Nothing is free there. You might think, “Hey! There’s a chair to sit by the beach to see witness the sunset in all it’s glory!” No way, Jose! Once you sat on it, 10 bucks please!

I’m just surprised that the air there is free…

FRIED EGGS, FRIED EGGS (Rebecca Black)

2011-03-17T23:15:00.001+08:00

Okay.

So this must be a joke from the music industry. Just one name. Rebecca Black.

If you don’t know who is she, there’s no surprise. It’s best if she remains unknown, but unfortunately, she has been gaining popularity for all the wrong reasons.

Here's her infamous “Friday” music video, which until now I still think it must be a parody of some sort.

You must watch her video in order to find this post relevant or entertaining.

Allow me to compare the lyrics of this song to an older song, to show you how times have changed the music scene.

Beyond the door there’s peace, I’m sure. And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven…

Tears In Heaven, Eric Clapton (1991)

Kickin’ in the front seat sittin’ in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?

Friday, Rebecca Black (2011)

It was branded worst song by multiple reviews and critics, but I personally think they were too harsh. If you listen to this song carefully, you might find that it’s quite educational.

I mean, the lyrics says it all:

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end.

Wow! Thank you for teaching me the arrangement of days! I can now get on with life.

And if you were listen to it long enough, you might notice the way she sang, or autotuned, the chorus made Friday sound like Fried Eggs. So she was actually rejoicing for Fried Eggs!

She loves her breakfast a lot.

The ridiculous part is that the song catches on to you. You cannot deny that fact. And you thought Bieber was bad.

FRIED EGG, FRIED EGG.

Welcome To Confused Country

2011-03-09T16:18:00.001+08:00

I know, I know. It has been almost 3 weeks since my last post. HOLY CRAP, that has got to be my longest “break” isn’t it? And by break I mean watching TV shows online.

But this pulled me back to writing here because seriously, this makes no sense at all.

The other day, I went to a Korean restaurant to have lunch with my workmate. It was pretty decent, the food and all but I felt that the environment was not my type. Honestly, I was half-expecting to meet some sexy girl groups or boy bands there. I really should stop stereotyping people…

After we finished lunch, the owner, a Korean man, gave us his business card. I took one look at it and it didn’t seem right.

And then it hit me.

Hard.

On the card, it says KOREAN RESTAURANT. However, the picture shows what I’m pretty sure isn’t anywhere in Korea or even near it. It’s actually a picture of London’s Big Ben, all the way in England.

Was he playing some kind of trick? Or was he embarrassed of “K-Pop” developed from from Korea? (Joking)

It doesn’t make sense. It’s almost the same if I do this.

Happy guessing which part of Malaysia is this.

Getting Good Results, It’s Different Now

2011-02-20T18:50:00.001+08:00

How many times have you heard your parents advising you, telling you, nagging you, and expressing to you the importance of getting good results in your studies?

You try your best to be motivated to study while your parents try their best to help you out by rewarding you material things in exchange for good results.

But what do you do if your parents are those that tells you that you should do it on your own because it’s for your own future and your own good? What if they’re those that leave everything to you, hoping that you can manage it on your own, but you can’t find the encouragement to study and strive for the good results?

Well, worry no more!

Here in a cybercafé that I always go to, they actually care about your studies! Your parents may think that these kind of places are the ones that hold you back from good results, but you should tell them it’s wrong!

They actually give you free hours to play here in the internet cafe if you have good results! The more ‘A’s, the better!

Who said internet cafes are of no good?

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn it, if they started having this a few years before, I would have passed every single examination of mine with flying colours.

Yeah, sure. It is for my future and not for free hours…

Plenty Of Other Fishes In The Sea

2011-02-17T22:11:00.001+08:00

This isn’t exactly breaking news or something bizarre but it’s worth mentioning I guess. It’s my blog anyway. I’m not being arrogant, I’m just stating the facts…

So anyway, the other day my friends and I were chilling in another friend’s place. Basically just hanging out and killing time cause we were waiting for some other friends to come back from shopping for fishes. Try to keep up, will ya? This isn’t rocket science.

Yes, they were shopping for fishes because somehow, after schooling-life, fishes seem to be more…attractive. I for one just like them when they’re on a plate.

Before our friends went out to shop for fishes, they asked us to watch over the aquarium that they just cleaned and were filing with water. They specifically asked us to watch out for when it gets full to turn off the water supply. Assuming that, we were just keeping an eye at the top of the aquarium, to see if it gets full or not.

Until suddenly one of my friends that were sitting on the floor suddenly jumped up and shouted, “Wet! Wet!” with his pants partly soaked. We thought he peed in his pants…

Turned out, there was a filter at the bottom of the aquarium, which our genius friends forgot to turn on, thus causing the water to overflow from the bottom, I think.

By the time we switched it on, it was too late. Part of the house was flooded.

At first, while waiting for them, we complained that we were bored with nothing to do. But then God suddenly took pity on us and gave us a heck of a job. To mop up the place before they come back.

It wasn’t an easy task because right next to the aquarium was the TV with lots of wires on the floor. Worse, plugs and switches. We had to be very careful while cleaning up the water, without making contact with any of them or we would be fried instead of the fishes.

Everyone got wet.

No, but seriously. It was quite difficult to clean up. Considering the fact that all I did was making jokes…

Soon, the few friends returned and fixed up the damn aquarium that gave us a load to do. I call them, the Aquamans. Because they like fishes a lot. And I’m very original.

Believe me, I was damn close to frying all the little things in the aquarium for dinner that night. But then, my friends would have been FISHY about. Get it? FISHY?!

FISHY?!

Valentine’s

2011-02-14T18:11:00.001+08:00

It’s that day of the year again. The one you either hate or love. It’s Monday! And speaking of love, it’s also Valentine’s Day.

You might love it because you have your better half to spend this special day with, to shower them with love and affection.

You might also hate it because you are alone this year, can’t find that special someone on this day or you just had a breakup and no one to spend this day with. ~~Or you’re jealous when you see couples everywhere…~~

No matter which, Valentine’s Day to me, is actually just like every other day but with a little extra love. Because to me, I think that everyday should be Valentine’s Day. Call me cheesy but if your other half only shows you that much love once a year, then maybe you should reconsider. Everyday, you should be love and be loved.

If you’re single this year, spending Valentine’s Day at home in front of the television, in front of the computer, doing work, or anything such, don’t fret. Don’t be bitter. It’s not that you have a problem, that’s why you’ve no Valentine. The answer is not you, it’s a another thing bigger. It’s all about timing.

Your time have not arrive yet. But it will come. So in the meantime, why not just enjoy being single?

Speaking of enjoying being single, I don’t mean dishing other couples that are celebrating this day and comparing how fun is it being single than having your other half, because that just makes you seem more desperate and bitter. You may think that all these love things are silly. But when you are in love, it’s not silly. It isn’t silly at all!

Here’s to all you couples out there, have a great time celebrating Valentine’s. To all you singles out there, like me, hey, have fun. You will have your time sooner or later.

And if you’re sour about not receiving a rose on Valentine’s Day, here. Maybe if you want to, you can consider me your Valentine?

Hey, I’m not THAT clingy!

All Work And No School

2011-02-10T22:13:00.001+08:00

Now it has been almost two months plus since I’ve last stepped into my secondary school. Do I miss it?

HELL TO THE YES.

When I was form 5 in my school, more often than not, I’d listen to people telling me that I should enjoy schooling years and make the best out of it. They would all say that schooling years were the best and more care free.

I on the other hand at that time was quite the opposite of that mindset. I couldn’t wait to finish high school. So badly I wanted to get out of school, the place I call “hell-hole”. And now that I’m out, how do I feel?

LIKE SHIT.

Seriously, I want to go back and repeat high school all over again. All the things that seemed so difficult and complicated at that time now seems so simple and easy.

Now that I’m so called “working” until 5 everyday on the weekend, it makes me crave for high school even more.

If I were to compare work with school, it would be like heaven and earth. Work is the same old thing everyday, same complications and routine is almost the same.

With school, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll be smiling and laughing everyday. And I miss that so very much. I miss being surrounded by the best bunch of friends you could ever have just having a good time and not giving a damn.

Yes, even the teachers are major plus points. You complain that teachers are bad and anti-social. Wait till you come out to the real world.

Plus, can I look like that when I’m at work? I’m afraid not.

Well at least there’s something at work which you won’t see in school. One of the smallest and most pointless notebook I’ve ever seen.

Seriously, it’s way too small to use for even more than an hour. What’s the use of it? I’VE NO FREAKING IDEA.

Okay, getting sidetracked here. So basically here’s everything in a nutshell:

School = (:
Work = ):

I guess there’s nothing else I can do now but to move on with life.

School was like one of my best ex-girlfriend that you know you can never have again. One that you have a great time with without any sex involved. Unless you’re a different kind of person…

P/s: I just realized. If I really had a girlfriend like my school, I would be so clingy…

Chinese New Year ‘11

2011-02-07T22:12:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year you! Yes you, reading this right now! No, I’m not late. Just in case you didn’t know, Chinese Near Year (henceforth called, CNY) lasts for 15 days if I’m not mistaken. So not only am I not late, I’m right on time! Sorta.

Just like every typical CNY celebration here, my family and I went back to their hometown in Bentong, Pahang. When I was younger, I used to go back there at least 10 times a year. But for the last two years, things changed. I rarely go back ‘home’ and going back there this year really made me miss that place a lot. Only one thing that’s bad; I can’t go on the internet there! But believe me, Bentong is a beautiful place.

What is CNY without family members gathering and just having a good time? Even those that migrated or out of station comes back for this festival. It was great to see everyone again. Such great times.

As usual, there are always fireworks. Not Katy Perry’s single, but as in real (illegal) fireworks. Legit ones.

This tradition is passed on from generations to generations. I remember I used to get crazy over fireworks a lot. I’d do anything to light them up and see them explode and stuff. And this enthusiasm is passed down to younger generations.

No matter how grown up you are, when it comes to fireworks, you’d be a kid again.

It’s so BRIGHT…

Not only that, it FLIES too…

One of my favourite thing to do while playing with fireworks is to light one up inside a tree. That tree has been there since I was born and it has become a custom.

Oh poor tree. Can you see the sparks flying out? It ain’t Katy Perry’s boobs.

Now, if all these fireworks don’t get you all excited or electrify, you’re retarded. Either that, or you want something more. Which I will say, wise choice, young jedi. Or old jedi. I don’t know how old are you. So, you JEDI.

We have those big ass firecrackers as well!

It was so loud, I swear, if I were just a feet closer to it, I’d go blind. Because the explosion can hurt my eyes. And go deaf.

And of course, how can I ever forget the good old Angpows and gambling? (There are some people that you just can’t gamble with because you know that their luck is too good, whom names I will not mention. But you’re on my radar now…)

In a blink of an eye, CNY holidays has passed already and everything is back to normal. Which I don’t like. I want everything to be abnormal. But a person with three eyes would be intimidating. So, normal it is!

But I want my holidays back. They go by so fast, I can’t even bid them goodbye. I’d normally do so by sleeping for more than 10 hours a day.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! DONG DONG CHIANG.

Change

2011-02-01T01:22:00.002+08:00

Change.

It’s a scary word ain’t it? But if there’s a need for it, it’s probably for the better. And that’s what’s happening here on johnnythatdude.blogspot.com.

Only a month has passed in 2011, and I’ve already failed one of my resolutions; to have posts up more frequently. But it’s also important that I keep one of my other resolution, which is to be contended with the things I do.

I’m not saying that I’m closing down this blog, although it did cross my head these few days. It’s not all important to me any longer, cause I’ve more things in life for me to venture in to. Juggling my blog and work, it’s hell of a task. I’d come back from work really tired and procrastinate from putting up a new post, and that happens almost everyday. During the weekends, that’d usually be my resting week, where I chill and take things slow. And putting up posts is just like working for me.

I had times where I’ll actually sit for hours with stacks of papers, thinking of ideas and skits for blogging and it’s getting out of hand.

Blogging should be a hobby. In fact, that’s the sole reason why I started. But now, it has become more of a responsibility. That’s when I realized, “Hey. It don’t have to be this way”.

Here is how it’s going to be.

I’m not gonna have a fixed update period, like how I did before. Previously, I’d usually have a new post every three days. Even when I don’t have the time, I’d push and try my best to have a new one up, and that’s what I meant by being a responsibility already.

From now on, I’ll have a new post up, whenever I feel like it. I can have a new post up today, tomorrow, or even a new one every single day. Or I can even have one once a week. I’ll blog when I have the urge, the motivation, when I feel enthusiastic about it. That, in my opinion, makes the post more interesting.

Posts will be more about my daily life and sometimes opinions. Those skits where I usually post up, I’ll cut down a lot on it. I’ll still do them, but very much less. It’s gonna be more personal, because I think my life would be interesting enough.

I want to bring back the feeling had in 2009 towards blogging. Then, I felt happy and people actually liked those posts more.

Here’s the bottom-line; I can’t please everyone. I don’t even know why I try to, because blogging is my hobby. It’s mine! I don’t want to come off as a douche-bag but put in a much simple way, this is my blog. This is mine. Why should I actually try to impress people?

Those comments I actually care less about them already. I find more satisfaction in a well done post then people’s comment. Not saying that you guys should stop, in fact, keep them coming.

It’s gonna be a major revamp for my blog and I’m liking the way it goes. Maybe I’ll lose readers, but that’s alright. As I mentioned a lot of times before, blogging is a hobby, not a responsibility.

11/1/11

2011-01-18T18:12:00.002+08:00

Just in case you don’t know, or don’t realize, that date in my title has actually passed. What so special about that date? You mean besides the fact that it has so many 1s in them, that day, the internet was filled with that damn date.

Everyone was freaking out about how special that day was, about how it was a once in a lifetime thing. And because people had no idea how to mark this special date, they came up with the most typical thing ever:

Making a wish.

I’ve nothing against that, since everyone were were wishing like it was their birthday. In fact, some were really pumped up for it.

Sorry to say, but some really poured a lot of their hopes on that day and their wishes. Hey, but of course, I’d never do anything so silly. C’mon, it’s not scientifically proven or anything. It’s like wasting time.

And when their wishes never came true, they’d feel cheated. As though like it was a guaranteed thing.

They’d flip out and go all berserk on the internet. Because you know, everything from the internet is true and should always be trusted. (sarcasm)

I’m not trying offend anyone that do what you guys did on that day. I’m just trying to find a little humor in it. Besides, if I were insulting them, I’d be insulting myself too…

P/s: I did not wish for anything on that day. Why won’t you people believe me? I really did not!

EPIC FAIL.

Race Against Time

2011-01-10T15:26:00.006+08:00

I know some of you have so many questions for me, from you readers…

“Why isn’t there a new post for this year?”

“Why are you so busy these days?”

“Why are you breaking promises you made to your readers?”

“Why are you so good-looking?”

Okay, the last one is probably fake. Or is it?

First of all, take a chill pill. And I don’t mean drugs. Just calm down and listen (read) to my explanation. It’s a good and logical one and I think you guys will forgive me after that (hoping).

I died and went to heaven over the past week. Just kidding.

I got myself a job. Yes, I’m working. Yours truly is actually an employee.

Not exactly working as a workman, but as a trainee. Why do I need to train, you ask?

You see, I’m actually working in an IT company as a trainee. I’m working there because when I go over to New Zealand, I’m studying IT. So this is to gain new experiences to what I’d be studying later on in the future. Smart planning, right?

The only downside of the whole thing is that my pay or my '”pocket money” from the company is actually very little. I won’t reveal the exact amount, but it’s less than 500 bucks.

However, I’m not in it for the money, I’m in it for the experience.

Basically what I do there is learn about the technicalities of computers and deeper into the IT world. Yes, I'm actually learning here and I can fix my own problematic computers!

So piss me off and I’ll mess up your computer real bad. Legit talk here.

My work schedule is from Monday to Friday every week, at 9AM till 5PM. Honestly, I’m liking this job. When there are nothing much to do, I can actually surf the web and not worry about the connections because there are so many technicians in my working place!

You may call me a computer geek for working here buy. You may be right, but I always imagine myself as Chuck Bartowski from my favourite series, Chuck.

But then Chuck has Sarah. Where’s my Sarah?!

With so many going on, I couldn’t find time for so many things. And also because of this, I’m not having new posts up as frequent as I did.

From today onwards, I’ll try my best to set aside time for my blog.

No promises though. Because the last promise I made here went so well…

EPIC FAIL.

2011, A Year Of New Beginnings

2010-12-31T15:12:00.003+08:00

Year in, year out I have been writing the same thing over and over again. It’s undeniable that time passes by so fast, it flies. (JOKE)

Just like every new year, I have my own personal New Years Resolutions that I plan to keep throughout the year 2011. Sometimes I get to keep them and sometimes I’d fail miserably. But it’s all parts and parcel of growing up.

So without further ado, here goes:

First of all, I want to be more friendly and socialize more. People who have met me once would usually be under the impression that I’m a quiet and shy person. Although I’m not the same when I’m with people that I know or comfortable with, I can’t deny that fact.

It has got to change.

One of the important ones is to be to a better son for my parents, a better friend for my buddies, and a better person for the rest.

You know those people that will never disappoint you? I would love to start being that person in 2011.

I want to make the saying, “think before you speak” as my guideline in 2011.

Next year, I’m going to be 18 and I must grow up to be more responsible. To watch what I say would be a starting point for that. Words are actually a really powerful weapon.

Next on my list is to be a less materialistic guy. It’s great to have really good gadgets and stuff but that does not define who you really are. At the end of the day, all these things actually mean nothing.

It may be difficult because we live in a acquisitive world, but I swear I’m going to try my best.

After materials, it’s about my appearance. Sure, it is important but for 2011, I’d try to care less about my appearance.

As corny as it sounds, it’s not about what’s on the outside but what matters the most is on the inside. And I don’t mean my boxers.

This may seem out of topic, but this is actually something that I’ve been yearning to perfect for the longest of time.

In 2011, I would want to master the best way of making a good cup of iced Milo. As stupid as it sounds, it’s something that I think is important in my life because this can be passed down from generations to generations. And no, I’m not joking.

Anyone kind enough to teach me?

This year, I neglected the habit of going to church. People have frequently asked me about it and I’ve always gave the same excuse, “SPM”.

But no more. In 2011, I want to go back to church because deep down, I know I miss it and I miss being close to God.

Most of my friends know about this already but this is going to be the first time I’m revealing it here on my blog. It’s almost a 90% chance of me going to New Zealand in middle of April next year to further my studies and also migrate there.

That is why in this duration of four months I have here, I want to make it a memorable one, something that I will never forget until the day I die. Pretty dramatic, but I want to make this four months worthwhile.

Paranoid is usually one of the labels I get from people who know me and also being negative minded. Not as in the dirty minded kind but as in always being doubtful.

Next year, I want to be more optimistic about things in life. I know I can be a happier person if I do so. his year, I’ve been worrying about SPM throughout the time so I would want to worry less about things and just go with the flow starting in 2011.

Finally, it comes to one of my favourite ones, my blog. Next year, I’m going to find ways and think of funnier posts to make my blog more entertaining and enjoyable.

And also, to improve in my photo editing skills. Because I suck at it now.

And the last one, to get a girlfriend! Just joking….sorta.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010 has been quite good to me. This year, I’ve gotten so much joy out of it and I’m also very grateful for the people that I get to spend it with.

I've said it a lot of times, and I don’t mind saying it again. This year marks the end of my high school year and it’s most saddening for me. No more teachers and no more high school fun.

However, this also means that I’m growing up and I have to move on to greater things and maybe to more joys in life, with the grace of God.

All the memories I’ve had in 2010, I’m gratified that it is all good, happy and sweet ones. I do hope that 2011 would be a even greater and better year.

Here’s to a new year and also to new beginnings.

HAPPY 2011 EVERYBODY.

Stuck In My Ele, My Elevator

2010-12-27T22:08:00.002+08:00

Do you know that not all elevator rides are like Flo-Rida’s “Elevator”?

Heck, no elevator rides are like that at all. Except if you live in playboy mansion. Then I’d love to be in your shoes. Am I going off topic?

As quoted by one of my friends, he have always found elevator rides to be really awkward. I couldn’t believe that I did not write a post about it earlier because I too find it really funny. So many unexplainable experiences I’ve had in an elevator ride.

Usually, you’d have the normal stranger meets stranger kind of situation, where you walk into an elevator and just try to act normal. And most importantly, avoid eye contact. Unless it’s a hot girl, then I think your eyes would be somewhere else. Going off topic again…

If that’s not awkward for you, there’s another one which is rather scary.

Being stuck in an elevator with someone who is speaking on the phone loudly or scolding someone on the other end.

It’s worse if suddenly, you make eye contact while that person is screaming on the phone.

Still not awkward enough for you? Why, you’re one difficult person to please.

This is ought to meet the awkward-o-meter at it’s fullest. And this I’ve personally experienced it many times before.

Being in an elevator ride with someone who stinks or has a bad body odour. It’s painful because you don’t want to pinch your nose or you’ll offend that someone, but you can’t hold your breath for that long either.

Maybe for once, I would love to experience some Flo-Rida’s “Elevator”. But what if a man walks in…?

EPIC FAIL.

Christmas Wish-list ‘10 (Merry Christmas!)

2010-12-24T15:54:00.002+08:00

It’s that time of the year again. Where people look up to that fat old man dressed in red and always with presents. Yes, I’m talking about me dressing up in multiple layer of red jumpsuit, stealing gifts!

Christmas has always been my favorite day throughout the years. I’ve always preferred Christmas than Chinese New Year. Just saying.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s probably because of the gifts I get every year. Well, you know what? You’re definitely right! I even have a list. I am THAT prepared!

CHRISTMAS WISH-LIST ‘10

#1. Iphone 4.

I love surfing the web. With Iphone 4, I can go on Twitter or Facebook almost everywhere, anytime. That’s a dream come true!

If you were to leave me somewhere with no internet connection for more than a day, I’d die. Well, not really. I’ll still be alive, but I’ll be so bored!

#2. Vans Shoes.

I have two pairs but they are both checkered slip-ons. I want a Vans Canvas Era or an Old Skool. As far as I can remember, I’ve always had a thing for Vans shoes.

It’s not unique, but it feels right owning them.

#3. Canon EOS D60. (with a big ass microphone)

You guys probably knew that this has got to be on my list already. Canon EOS D60 is the ideal camera for a vlogger, for now at least.

With this, I can really kick start my vlogging journey. And plus, it look’s really professional…

#4. IMac

And of course, an IMac to edit the videos that I’ve recorded with the Canon EOS D60. Imagine, editing videos with no lags, with fast speed.

It makes sense, right?

#5. MY OWN URL.

I think it could work, do you?

In all seriousness, Christmas isn’t all about gifts. It’s about a time of sharing and caring for one another, with those less fortunate ones.

Although it has been said, many times, many ways...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.

P/s: I. Still. Want. My. Gifts.

EPIC FAIL.

I’m Gonna Dye

2010-12-23T00:50:00.005+08:00

In the spirit of Christmas, I’ve dyed my hair!

You may ask, “How is dying hair related to Christmas?” ? Well, it isn’t! I’m just relating them together because Christmas is so near. And I’m really excited for it.

The colour that I chose was brown. Light brown. Initially, I wanted to go for red as inspired by Hayley Williams, but if I were to get that colour here in Malaysia, you’d be called a seafood. So I had to let that go.

And just for that extra information, I did not go to a salon to get it dyed. I did it myself. It was quite impressive if I do say so myself. So good, that I had to share it with you people!

At this point, I do realize that self praise is no praise.

DYEING HAIR FOR DUMMIES (I just called you a dummy. Oh yes I did!)

First of all, dye it black.

Then, you got to mix two random bottles of…mixtures together. You gotta mix it good. Next, you have to taste it a bit. Just one small lick, to taste whether if it’s good enough to be applied to your hair.

Be cautious when applying colour to your hair. Make sure it doesn’t make contact with your eyes, or you’ll go blind. Or your skin, for you’ll melt to death.

After applying, you got to leave it for a day, for the hair to really absorb the colour. But be careful! If you leave it for longer than 24 hours, you might experience hair loss. That’s how you get bald people.

Later, wash it off.

Immediately, you’ll see the change in colour!

It’s that effective!

I honestly feel like I’ve given you guys a really good guide on how to dye your hair. If you want to be like me, hurry up and dye it before Christmas!

Because if you dye it before Christmas, your face will magically change into mine! Now, who wouldn't want that?

EPIC FAIL.

Money Is Like A River

2010-12-16T00:11:00.002+08:00

At long last ladies and gentlemen, SPM is officially over for me. Well, actually it ended about a week already for me but this is the first post since so, ta-dah!

I got to be honest here, the few days before SPM was over, I was excited as hell. I couldn’t wait for the last day. But on the day SPM ended, the feeling weren’t as awesome as I thought it would be. Don’t worry, all’s good.

Right after SPM ended, I’ve been going out a lot. It’s like I’m a free bird roaming around…only to make it back home for sleep. And then roam around again.

I’m not complaining. Life is sure good these few weeks. Plus the chicks I’m getting! They sure are lucky!

…Okay, I was the lucky one.

My point is, with all these outings that I have practically everyday, I’ve been spending money like it’s for free. It’s like money and I weren’t meant to be together.

But it’s all cool. All in for good fun.

And as you know, I would and I sure hope that I would be back to blogging regularly now that everything’s over. This post is merely a catch up post and to tell you guys what I’ve been up to, thus explaining the absence of a new post.

However, you guys got to stay tuned because I promise you, things are back to normal!

P/s: …I hope.

I Killed A Clone

2010-12-05T17:50:00.003+08:00

This post is a little behind. What I meant by that is, this post was initially suppose to be up around 4 days ago. But due to some delays, I could only put it up now. And no, it wasn’t laziness.

Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

So right now, I’m in still in the midst of SPM, the big exam. I’ve been studying everyday, I could feel that I’d be falling sick soon. But I guess it’s normal cause I don’t think I’m the only one…right?

Anyway, although I have been constantly facing my books…kinda, I promised that I wouldn't miss a single post. (But as you can see, it’s a FAIL)

Thus, I wanna do something that I’ve been doing here for quite awhile already. Make good use of my clones!

In case you readers didn't know, I’ve always been making more than one me in my pictures for quite some time already. Now, let me officially introduce them into the Johnny family! I don’t know why but that sounded so pedophilia!

Meet my clone! (a representative of many more)

An easier way of differentiating between my clone and I is that I wear spectacles while my clones don’t!

Yeah, I can hear you. “So the nerdier one is Johnny!”

WOW, YOU’RE SO FUNNY!

Anyhow, since I’m so busy with my studies now, I’m going to let my clone takeover and try to make entertaining contents and posts for you guys! How is that!?

I’m going to let my clone takeover now, I got to head back to my books. Stay tuned!

“Harlo. Er, this is my first time writing here. You want funny and entertaining stuff? Okay. I give you funny and entertaining stuff."

Look, just like magic!

Cool eh? Johnny taught me.

OH SHIT!”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

This is nonsense! What is this bullshit. I said entertain them, not…make them want to stop reading! ARGH!

I’m taking it back from here. Ugh.

------------------------------------------------------------

Don't worry, I'm still a nice person. Sorta.

EPIC FAIL.

Getting Married?!

2010-11-26T22:46:00.004+08:00

Ever since SPM started, my Facebook feed was filled with form 5’s statuses with nothing else but of that big exam. And then I’d sit there and stare at the screen thinking how come even though SPM’s going on, that these guys can still surf the net?

Then again, so was I. So, I took the thought back.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

It has already been a week since SPM started, and we’ve got through 3 subjects already. Bahasa Malaysia, English, and History.

I, for one, am darn happy that those subjects were over. But then some form 5 took it to another level, saying that those subjects are out of their lives forever. I hate to be the one who’s going to burst their little bubbles, but unfortunately, you still do as long as you’re living in Malaysia. Even if you were to migrate somewhere else, you’ll still be using English, cause it’s an international language. Shocker, I know.

And then you have people with statuess saying that coffee was going to be their best friend throughout the whole SPM exam. Why? Cause they need to stay up late and caffeine is their best solution.

Well, if that’s the case, then I’m more than just friends with coffee. I must have been friends with it for so long, that I’ve already coupled with it, and got married.

Cause I’ve been a coffee addict for the longest of time and that’s how much I love it!

And just for you readers, I’m going to show you for I know that you’ve been staring at it, trying to figure out how and why.

Yes, I can’t tie a tie.

Other then that, you’ll also find statuses saying that these subjects were their ‘lover’ and that they’re breaking up with them.

Hey. That’s just stupid. I mean, c’mon!

…you do not break up with someone just because you’ve finished ‘doing it’! That’s just plain wrong.

Last but not least, you have the ever so popular one, the “It’s finally over and I’m going to burn the books! I’m going to burn them all!” phase.

It happens when one finishes that subject and wants to why, burn the books. Literally. However, you know what guys? You shouldn’t. It’s wrong.

You should do what I do.

Because I care for the environment, I do what I’ve always practiced to do. Plus, it’s part of going green.

You don’t burn them. You recycle them, just like the newspapers! NERD STYLE.

Can you see the bling bling? I’m so proud of it…

EPIC FAIL.

This Is It

2010-11-22T20:36:00.005+08:00

This is it guys. This is the beginning of the end. SPM is in less than a day. Unbelievable for me.

How far have we come to since starting our high school year in 2006, when we were form 1. And now, the biggest challenge of our high school years.

It’s starting very, very soon.

Every time I look at that picture, I get the creeps. There’s something about it that shakes me on the inside, and I’m pretty sure you and I know what’s it.

I’ll be walking into that hall soon and sitting for the big thing.

It’s too late for regrets now people. It’s now or nothing.

This is when you hope that what you have studied throughout the past two years actually pays off, that maybe, just maybe, luck could be by your side. But I don’t believe in luck, I believe in God and the ability that he gave to every single one of us.

Initially, I was not nervous at all. But apparently, my face looks distressed to my parents. A week before SPM, they started comforting me, telling me to take it easy and not to panic.

Even after I told them that I was pretty relaxed about the whole thing, they kept trying to comfort me.

And at last, I was shitting bricks when two to three days more to SPM.

But you know what? We can do this FORM 5s!

Well, kinda.

All the best and God bless!

EPIC…WIN!

Last Day Of School ‘10

2010-11-18T16:52:00.002+08:00

We, the form 5s has officially ended their high school year. My last day as a senior in high school was rather…different then others. As usual, last day for form 5s = get blessings from the teachers for the major SPM exam.

It was more of a boring session then a touching and sad ceremony. The sad thing was that the whole school had to go through this as well.

We were all very enthusiastic about the last day of school. Think about it, last day of your high school year! After this, you wouldn’t have your schooling years back. All those memories you had in high school, nothing to remember by.

We were very spirited about it.

No really.

Everyone were walking around, getting signatures from all different forms and taking pictures as memories. Signatures on shirts that is.

Well…almost everyone.

When we were young, we were always eager to grow up and get out of these “hell-holes” called school. As we grew older, little did we realize that most of our happy memories comes from these so called “hell-holes”.

How many times have we heard from others saying that we should appreciate our schooling years because it could most probably be the best years of our lives. And how many times have I shrugged off those comments.

It has come to my senses that it is true. You can’t deny it. As we grow up, we meet more challenges and face obstacles, that’s part of life. My friends, my school and the company I have there, those I will forever cherish. They will always have a special place in my heart. (As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true) All the fun times, all the inside-jokes, all the crazy nights and crazy times. I’d miss them so much.

Sad to say that once SPM is over, everyone will have their own path to go to and separation is inevitable. But for me, those memories that I have will be enough to get me through tough times. Those memories will make me want to go back there.

It’s ending now. Heck, it has ended. But you know what?

I will never forget every single one of my friends. (Those not in picture included)

Growing up, won’t bring us down.

DoggyStyle

2010-11-14T23:08:00.002+08:00

Is this actually the first time where I blog about sex!?

Sadly, no.

You’ll find out soon enough when you read on.

It was a few days ago, where I had a futsal game. Thinking that arena was quite nearby, I decided to walk there. I thought it could be like a warm-up for me as well.

So I set out walking there with my futsal shoes in my shoe bag. After about 2-3 minutes of walking, I heard dogs barking from everywhere. My place is full of dogs and not exactly those cute adorable ones. I’m talking “it will bite your ass off” kinda dogs.

I was used to it already so I just continued walking. That was until my neighbor’s dog managed to escape it’s chain. It ran out and started barking like a mad dog. The neighbor’s gate was wide open, so I was like a sitting duck. Out of nowhere, it attacked me, wanting to bite my leg. I blocked it by putting my shoe-bag in front of it. However, one of it’s tooth managed to slightly pierced through my skin.

Here’s the stupid thing, once it bit me, it ran off. Just like that. The wound was very small, so I didn’t care about it and continued walking to futsal. Then suddenly, I began transforming in to this four legged dog-man and I had super strength. I was MAN-DOG!

Just kidding.

But once my parents found out about it, they were pretty pissed at the neighbor. And I had to go to a clinic to get a Tetanus shot, just in case of infection or rabies.

Until now, my left arm is numb.

All because of a killer crazy dog. A big-ass killer crazy dog…

Alright, I admit. It was smaller. Something like this:

But still capable of inflicting a lot of problems!

And you know what? I’m actually feeling kinda strange. I’m beginning to grow a lot of fur and my nails are turning into claws now! OH GOD, WHAT IS THIS!?

Just kidding.

#3.WWJS: Delicious Sandwich Comes First

2010-11-12T17:31:00.002+08:00

Hello, people of the internet reading this. That is the only way I assume you can read this, with internet connection. Today’s Friday, 12th November 2010 in another ‘WWJS’.

Today’s laugh out loud news, we have:

Hotel robbery suspect found next door to hotel at The Alibi bar

Happened in Idaho, a man suspected in the robbery of a Cedars Inn was found next door at The Alibi bar.

40-year-old Donald Mosley Jr. was arrested less than 15 minutes after he walked into the hotel and demanded cash from the desk clerk late Wednesday. He was actually dumb enough to run – just right next door to hide.

Mosley is no stranger to the police there.

He once knocked on a fire station door the night of October 28 and guess what? He asked for a cup of coffee. After he was asked to leave, he walked to a nearby Dairy Queen, called 911 and reported a fire at his apartment.

But of course, he denied making those calls, however two eyewitnesses begged to differ.

All those happened, just weeks after being released from prison for stealing an ambulance leading police on a low-speed chase. Call me crazy, but I seriously think that the man has serious mental problem.

I don’t think it’s only me, right?

-------------------------------------------

In other news, we have:

To hospital for gunshot wounds or eat my delicious sandwich first?

A 25-year-old man who was shot TWICE, I repeat, TWICE after buying a sandwich at a deli went home, ATE HIS LUNCH before going to the hospital.

The man, named Miguel Soto was shot at his left leg and the other in the GROIN. How can that not hurt? Hello, the GROIN mind you! A gunshot!

He went home and ate the sandwich before asking his father to take him to the hospital. This is all so crazy. Yes, gunshots do hurt. But not for Soto.

The next time I am in the hospital, I have to remember this story. Think how good that sandwich must be for you to ignore getting shot TWICE to eat it.

Well, either that or he knows how bad hospital food is. Might as well enjoy the last sandwich for awhile right?

FAIL.

#2.WWJS: Flying Deers

2010-11-11T14:02:00.006+08:00

Greetings and salutations people. Today’s Thursday, 11th November 2010 and the second ‘WWJS’ post. So anyway, let’s get down to business.

In today’s fascinating news:

Sunburned whales? Ozone hole could be culprit

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have sunburnt whales.

Some whale species off the Mexican coast are showing signs of severe sunburn that might be caused by the damaged ozone layer's decreased ability to block ultraviolet radiation, a new study concludes.

It is reported that they are vulnerable to these skin-damaging, body-hurting, skin-tanning sun damage because they need to spend a lot of time on the ocean's surface to breathe, socialize, and feed their young. Since they don't have fur or feathers, that effectively means they sunbathe naked.

Sadly, only whales sunbathe naked. Not chicks. What? By chicks, I meant little chicken!

The study’s author, Laura Martinez-Levasseur said, "Humans can put on clothes or sunglasses — whales can't."
This, readers, deserves a standing ovation for such intellectual and mind-boggling statement. And yes, this is sarcasm.

But studies are being made now to see how well whales' cells hold up under the increased ultraviolet radiation — and whether whales' pigmentation darkens as a result of their time spent out in the sun.

In other words, “to be able to see if they’re tanning"”.

Well, you know what I think? Just spend millions of dollars on…sunblocks for these whales!

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In other news, we have:

Car-struck deer flies through windshield, out back

This is just hilarious. The deer flying, not the injuries. I’m not heartless alright!…sorta.

In Minneapolis, a family heading for pizza on the first day of hunting season bagged a deer instead, when a small buck struck by an oncoming car flew through their windshield and out their rear window. Chris and Susan Blake and their 17-year-old daughter, Olivia, were injured but survived the frightening crash

Sadly to say, the family suffered injuries like broken cheekbones, broken nose and scratches to the face.

What Chris Blake said was that the deer “came right through the windshield and actually t-boned me in the face”. Now I know why deers love wrestling so much!

The deer, not surprisingly, was killed. That’s a pity cause imagine if the deer survived. It could live to tell it’s tale and brag about it to the other deers!

Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever seen a deer fly all the way to the car.

Guess what I can say now is...Oh Deer!

Get it?! Get it?!

FAIL.

#1.WWJS: World’s Smallest Car

2010-11-10T14:33:00.005+08:00

Greetings and salutations fellow readers. I’m trying something new, I’m putting up a new category of posts called ‘WWJS’.

You don’t need to crack your head trying to figure out what it means. ‘WWJS’ actually means What Would Johnny Say. How this works is, I’ll talk about weird or bizarre news that happened all over the world and just try to make some sense to it. And try to judge whether it’s a FAIL or a WIN.

Why do this now you ask?
Mainly because many times I would read through news that is really stupid and just plain FAIL. So I would love to share it with you guys as well.

So in the news we have:

Feline (cat) blamed for starting fire with toaster oven

This happened in Washington where a cat who liked to sleep on top of a toaster oven started a fire in Port Townsend by depressing the toaster lever.

This is why I’m more of a dog person. I never liked cats. All they do is start a fire.

The owner Lois Lund said that she doesn’t hold a grudge against her cat Osiris. She also said that the cat had been sleeping on top of the oven to avoid a pet dog and probably stepped on the lever.

I think I know which cat did it. It’s most slightly this cat:

It’s seeking revenge after so many years of being teased of having a pomelo on the head on the internet. And what better way then starting a fire!

Well, Lund managed to put out the fire early with a garden hose. No one was hurt but the estimated damage was at $5000.

However, the most important thing is that the cat is safe right? So what if it costs $5000 bucks, it's nothing compared to the cat! (sarcasm)

See? Getting a dog would have been much cheaper.

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In other news, we have:

World’s smallest car measures 26 inches wide

This is really stupid.

Made by a British inventor Perry Watkins, the car measures just 41 inches high, 51 inches long and 26 inches wide. And guess what? It’s in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's smallest car with a license to drive on public streets.

Surprise, it can drive up to 37 miles per hour and even has seat belts. Wow, safety!

I mean, who would actually get one and drive it on the freeway? It looks flimsy and for the love of God, it’s only 26 inches wide!

I cannot think of what would happen to the car if it were to get into an accident. Probably the whole thing will be crushed in less than a second.

Good invention, but not practical.

FAIL.

P/s: With this new category, I would probably have new posts more frequently. So, stay tuned!

Deepavali 2010

2010-11-07T22:17:00.003+08:00

Ever since 2006, it has been a tradition for my friends and I to head over to our pal Prasad’s place for Deepavali. And this year was no different.

I always can't wait to go to his place every year for Deepavali. For what? For the food!

Here’s a fun fact for you all:
Did you know that Prasad’s mother makes very delicious and very good curry? If she were to open up a shop, I sincerely think that it would be a big hit.
Hey, I’m not ass-kissing!…I think.

The downside was that everyone wasn’t as enthusiastic for Deepavali as the previous years. I think you should know why by now. SPM. Throughout the time that we were at this place, we kept complaining how close SPM is.

One thing I always look forward to during Deepavali is the Indian cookies that they make and served to the guests. Those are the best, I tell you. My favourite has got to be ‘muruku’.

No, I’m not the only one. That I can assure you.

Delicious food aside, the company there was great. So many friends turned up although the girls went back way too early. That explains why there are no pictures of girls. And it also proves that we aren’t sexist…kinda.

But we sure are gay!

The happy kind. Not the homosexual one. Except for some of us. I’m not telling who! (Unless you ask me politely)

I sure do hope that this Deepavali gathering won’t be the last for us as a big group. Cause that would suck so bad.

Something I just realized…this could be our last gathering as a big group until SPM. Yikes!

EPIC FAIL.

P/s: I know I’m a little late but Happy Deepavali to all Hindus out there. Hope you had a great one. (:

Less Than 3, No Not < 3

2010-11-02T23:15:00.005+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s officially less than three. No, not <;3, but less than three more weeks to SPM. I know this may be annoying, my constant complaint about SPM being very close and all, but I can’t help it. I mean, less than a month more!

I know people are telling us form 5s that it’s not such a big deal, just remain calm and fully prepare ourselves for the major exam.

However, here’s the problem:

I don’t think I can ever be ready for SPM. Yes, I had a lot of time before this to actually realize that SPM is important and I should make preparations for it since early this year. But I mean, c’mon, let’s be honest, I don’t think I would be the only one doing last minute, right?

As expected, each day, I’m constantly struggling to open my books and actually revise. But I do study everyday, as difficult it is for me.

And I also do understand that my job is very very simple. My parents provide me with everything and all I have to do is just to good in my studies. And heck, it’s not even for them, it’s for myself. Yet, time to time, I still find it so difficult to understand that fact.

No, I won’t say that I’m studying until I can go crazy, cause I know and I do catch on that it is my responsibility, not only to others but myself. (Feeling very proud here. I should get applause from you people reading. Kidding…sorta)

About being in denial…yes, I do sometimes try to comfort myself by telling myself that I can get that much information into my head within three weeks. I don’t know whether I’ll succeed, but I’m trying my best.

Quite a number of time, I’ve been thinking of putting up a countdown timer in my blog, but, that would just make me feel more nervous. That’s why I have such “great” (seriously, tho) friends that constantly remind me how long is it till SPM every single day.

If I could give advice to those younger than me reading this, those who are gonna be sitting for SPM in a few years time, mine will always be the same as those that get from others. Start early. Prepare early. You have no idea how long have I been procrastinating till I actually studied. And no, failing your science subjects isn'tnormal in school. You should be getting an A or at least passing it.

That was sorta my downfall. Since early form 4, I’ve always been thinking that it’s normal that I fail my science subject. And then I found it difficult and I struggled throughout form 4 and part of form 5.

Somehow, I do hope that it’s true when people say, “One day, when you grow up, you'll think back to this and have a good laugh” cause seriously, I don’t find anything comical now.

Graduation 2010

2010-10-30T23:52:00.002+08:00

My school has this tradition of giving form 5s the feel of graduating right before the end of the year, or should I say, right before the big one, SPM.

That day, we were required to go to school like it was any other normal schooling day and we had to bring our formal outfit to school to change to it later that day. Many were complaining that it wouldn’t feel comfortable changing in school because we would normally sweat a lot in school. I was one of them.

So the day began like every other normal school day. Well, my definition of a normal day would be playing poker, playing the guitar and just gossiping around.

Soon, graduation robes were given out to all of us and everyone started to get excited. Everyone were trying out the robes.

My friends and I couldn’t help ourselves. We felt like wizards in Harry Potter and the school was Hogwarts.

How could you not when the robe looked like this?

Shortly after, everyone started changing into their formal outfit. It was a nice feeling spotting everyone at their best look.

Meet my friends, the handsome hunks.

On that day, I felt like doing or wearing something…extraordinary. Something that would stand out from the crowd. Something that would differentiate me from the others.

A day before graduation, I asked my followers on Twitter about me wearing a bow-tie, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. Many said that I would look like a waiter…it’d be silly to wear it.

Well then, just call me silly…

I expected a lot of comments from others. And hell, I sure had a lot of comments. The worse has got to be a clown. They said I looked like a clown. But hey, at least I entertain others, right?

People wanted to snap pictures with the bow-tie guy.

As many as they could…

And more…

I wouldn’t blame them at all. I mean, if I were to see some other dude looking like a clown during graduation, hey, I would love to a picture or two with him.

But then some took it too hard…

The graduation went pretty well and although it was a little boring at first, but then we soon realised that this would be our last year in high school for most of us.

This year could also probably be the last year that we get to see each other. It was a mixed feeling of excitement and sadness.

Of all the fun we had in high school, it was going to end soon. Quite saddening, really.

I’m sorry, did I depress you? Here’s a picture of good looking guys and a clown.

As much as I hate to admit it, teachers too will be missed.

No matter how ridiculous we think they are now, in the future, we’d think back about it and probably have a good laugh.

It was certainly a great experience for form 5s to have the feeling of graduating, so that at least in the future, some of us might study hard so that we can experience a real graduation. I’m not making any sense.

Oh well, here’s a picture of me and my friend from Sabah. She’ll be going back there in December. ):

Even though we had such a great time, we know we still have one more great battle to face. The greatest battle in our schooling years. SPM. I’m so pumped up for it!

So pumped that I could look down on a girl with a few friends!

Hey, I don’t mean it literally…

EPIC FAIL.

5 NERD Facts

2010-10-27T21:28:00.004+08:00

Nerd. Are you one? I definitely think I’m one and everyone of us, deep down, there’s a little nerd in you.

Okay, maybe not entirely a nerd, but here are five Nerd facts about me that certainly put me as a very, very nerdy person.

FACT #1.

Even though I’m 17 this year, I still have a lot of comic collection. Not those graphic novels kind, but genuine superhero comics.

I can’t bear to throw them away.

FACT #2.

I still play video games even though I’m 17. That may be ordinary and does not seem weird at all, but when I play video games, I take them very seriously. Too seriously, sometimes.

FACT #3.

I can’t live without my laptop and the internet. If you wanna kill me, you don’t need to use violence at all. Just take away my laptop and cut the internet connection, I’ll slowly suffer and die. It’s because the internet has played such a major role in my life.

Even when I go to the toilet. Yes, I’m hooked for sure.

FACT #4.

You may see me now as a witty and humorous guy, but in real life…I can’t really impress the ladies. Heck, I could hardly talk to them or even get noticed. I CAN’T BE FUNNY IN REAL LIFE.

This is the ULTIMATE Nerd Problem.

FACT #5.

This is my favourite fact of all and also the best one among all five.

I BLOG!

So that’s major nerd points…

…right?

EPIC FAIL.

Paramore Live In KL

2010-10-20T17:51:00.004+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, children and old folks. Yes, I’ve been to the most amazing show of my life. The best concert in my life and to be honest, I’m still a little hungover from it.

My friends and I arrived at the stadium around 11 and started queuing up. There were some people there already, probably much earlier than us. Mind you, the concert starts at 8:30, so being there at 11 meant that we had to wait for 9 hours. And the weather was as usual, flipping hot.

Here’s the annoying part. We started queuing up since 11 in the morning. Around 3, people started coming and then for no reason, they started cutting queue. Little by little we got pushed slightly back from the line.

By 6:30, they opened the gate to the stadium and everyone started to rush and push in like we’re doing it to save lives. It was havoc, with the security guards (like bouncers) shouting at the crowd.

We got in and got quite a good place. For me at least. My heart pumped so hard and fast when I saw the stage.

I looked back from where I came from, and I could see many others sprinting towards the stage as though as people were giving out free money.

I say hardcore music lovers! Or Hayley lovers. Either one.

For the other seating category, it was quite empty at first. But then later, it was packed! It was full like a packed can of sardine. This is the point where you realize that I suck at giving metaphors…

We were all quite close to the stage. I’d say it’s the best seat in the house. I mean stand. Cause we’re all standing. Seat is for the other categories. I should stop writing now.

By 7:30, two Vjs, Utt and Holly went up on stage and everyone were getting more excited.

One thing that I’ve to say about the crowd is that they were really easily amused. They cheered when they saw a camera. They cheered when they saw a stage equipment. They cheered when they saw random photographers.

The Vjs introduced the opening act, our own local band, Y2K. I know people say that it’s important to support our own local music scene, but I’m going to be dead honest here.

Y2K is no where near as good as other bands out there here in Malaysia. I bet I could find other bands much better than them. The whole crowd were just playing around with them, eager for them to wrap it up for Paramore to come out instead.

Me included.

And yes, they wore masks. Cause they thought it was cool to do so.

They finished their set and the crew members started setting up the stage. They started to get all the equipments ready and set the stage right.

This was when the crowd got really stupid and started pushing. I thought there was gonna be a moshpit! It was that bad. At this point, personal space don’t exist.

Then suddenly, the lights went out and a black drop covered the whole stage. We all cheered. Sounds of guitar and drums could be heard. My heart was about to drop out cause I was so darn excited. We could see figures of the band behind the black drop.

Without warning whatsoever, the black cover dropped and there was PARAMORE! The crowd went wild, it was so crazy!

The opened with Ignorance, off their latest record, Brand New Eyes. They were so good. First time seeing Hayley was like…wow. It was like a “Is this real life?” kinda thing.

I still couldn’t believe it and was still blown away that Paramore was playing right in front of me. Hayley Williams was right in front of me. Jeremy Davis was right in front of me. Josh Farro was right in front of me.

They played songs off all their three records. They played Feeling Sorry, That’s What You Get, Emergency, Playing God and so many more.

This was my only concert that I know every single song they played. And all the lyrics. Everyone sang (more like shouted) along with Hayley. Although I wanted more songs from their first record to be played, but anything's good too.

As usual, Hayley was the same energetic rocker chick that everyone loves. She’s probably the best female rocker in the history of rock and roll.

After playing about eight songs, they did an acoustic set. The first song was Let This Go, with only Hayley and Josh on the guitar.

It was so good. She sounds terrific in acoustic sessions and the crowd was so loud as well. A very energetic and active crowd.

After one song, the crew brought out a sofa set and the rest of the members came out as well to do a full band acoustic session.

They did When It Rains and Misguided Ghosts. Both of my favorite Paramore songs.

But then something bad happened. The sound system died during Misguided Ghosts. But then the crowd still sang along and they still tried playing without speakers.

Embarrassing for Malaysia, really.

They then returned back on stage with the full band, ready for more. They continued playing Crushcruscrush, Looking Up and Pressure.

When they played Pressure, Hayley introduced the band members. I guess that was something that they always do, and it was wonderful.

The crowd cheered when she introduced each member.

And guess who got the loudest and craziest cheer of all?

Hayley Williams of course!

The last song of the set was The Only Exception. Hayley asked for cell phones and lighters to be raised up, basically anything that shines. And the view was stunning.

This was when the crowd was being probably the loudest. Everyone knew the lyrics and I bet that people from the outside of the stadium could hear us.

At the last part of the song, there were sparks. It was really romantic and very sweet indeed. All the couples and were hugging and cuddling. The feeling was one of a kind.

When they finished, the crowd chanted “Paramore” and also “We want more!”. At this point, my throat started to hurt already.

Paramore then came out on stage again for an encore!

The first one that they played was Brick By Boring Brick. It was insane, the crowd was all jumping and shouting along.

It was surreal.

Soon, it was their last song for the concert. They left Misery Business for the very last part. And it was unbelievable.

During the song, Y2K came out as well.

Hayley said that she wanted to pick one person to come up on stage to get crazy and be a freak. She chose a random guy. I’m not going to insult one’s body size.

Seriously, the dude was darn lucky. Not only did he get to sing with Paramore on stage but also he get to take a picture with Hayley.

Lucky bastard!

They wrapped up the song and the finale was awesome. It was like a fairytale ending kinda thing. It felt unreal.

They finished their concert and took a final bow.

At last, after waiting for so many years, they’ve finally played once in Malaysia. To be frank, I personally feel that they could be the best band out there now.

It was the best 300 bucks that I’ve eve spent in my life. Couldn’t say for others though, cause a lot of people fainted during their concert and had to be carried out by the crowd.

So it is confirmed. Paramore, the best concert of my life so far.

My lungs hurt now from all the shouting…

Showering Bieber

2010-10-16T23:41:00.004+08:00

This has got to be one of my most embarrassing posts ever. But hey, as long as I think it’s funny, why not?

You know how sometimes when you’re alone somewhere, someplace, with no one else around you? Yes, I know it’s entertaining and pleasant to have some me time all to yourself.

I'm pretty sure many of you guys out there do this too, not only me alone. Don't make me feel "special".

What do I do when I’m all alone? Simple.

I master…my singing skills! (gotcha)

Many of us when we’re alone, we tend to do silly things. Things that we’d not do when there are people around us because we’re afraid of embarrassing ourselves. And one of the most embarrassing and deepest darkest secret for me would be singing horribly.

Now I admit to singing in front of the mirror…

Singing out-of-tune, mind you.

You see, when we do that, we always think that we sound really good and that one day we could be a singer. Perhaps only me, but trust me, 70% of the time, we sound terrible. I sound like a dying cow.

Not only would I sing facing the mirror, I’d also breakout into some random “dance” move.

My “dance” is terrific, believe me.

And the worst of all and also the most popular one: Singing in the shower.

Countless number of times I’d sing so loud, that I’d hear my next door neighbor punching the wall. Probably asking me to continue singing louder. No, I’m not in denial…

My neighbours love me!

Well…sorta.

EPIC FAIL.

This Post Is So Overrated!

2010-10-13T20:40:00.005+08:00

You know what’s annoying?

People who stopped liking something because it gained popularity. Yes, I was like that once. (actually yesterday, I was still like that) until I realized, hey! That’s really lame!

I mean let’s say you like a band. You ‘discovered’ them while they were still new and you like them a lot. And soon, people start noticing them.

And then, you lost interest in them. Honestly, don’t you think it sounds stupid?

To stop liking something just because it got popular? I mean, if you really like this band, you’d want them to be popular and be successful right?

Unless you're a selfish little bastard...just like how I was.

Same goes with TV shows.

If the show is nice and entertaining, other people would watch it as well, not only you. For your information, they are billions of other people in this world too.

Some may argue that it’s because once they become popular, they become mainstream media. And mainstream medias are bad, lame and overrated. It’s about the feeling of being special, like you’re the only one, right?

But that still doesn’t make sense to stop liking that something that you once were crazy about.

Would it affect you if that something is overrated, if once you were all gaga about it?

Just like Twilight. What team?

No, I don’t watch Twilight. It's so overrated and boring.

Plus, it’s for girls.

Seriously, I don’t! Why won’t you believe me?!

…Oops!

Shin Chan In School!

2010-10-05T15:46:00.002+08:00

This is something that I remembered from my primary school years. It’s a funny story actually and I can’t believe I never shared this with you guys earlier.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It happened during standard six where I was 12 years old. I just sat for the UPSR examination (important exam for primary school students) but still had around three weeks of school left.

Being a good innocent kid that I was, I still attended school everyday, even though there was nothing much to do except playing around.

One day, I was feeling a bit brave, so I brought comic books to school. That was something really big for a 12 year old kid because those were things that weren’t allowed in school.

Anyway, I brought them to school and I was “showing off” to my friends a few of my comic collection. And then a teacher came. He looked mad.

Impulsively, I quickly made up some story about my mother misplacing them in my schoolbag and what not. It was the suckiest lie I ever made till now.

I didn’t know what to do. I though he was furious and wanted to confiscate them and that I was going lose my precious comics.

Suddenly, the most out of the blue, random shit happened.

He asked me whether if I’ve Shin-Chan comic books.

Shin-Chan is a Japanese manga and anime series which is really funny and stupid.

At that time I wasn’t sure whether if I heard it wrongly or was he being serious.

I do have them, but I did not bring them to school that time because I didn’t think it was “cool” back then.

And then he asked me again.

I told him that I don’t have any. In the end, he just read a few pages of my comics, laughed for a bit and just walked away.

I thought I was being punk’d. But I was glad that I didn’t get my comics confiscated. I never dare bring them to school again for the past three weeks.

But really, teachers? For real?

EPIC FAIL.

Constipating Face In The Toilet

2010-09-30T20:33:00.003+08:00

This week was my trials. In fact, it’s still going on and it’s gonna take another two weeks. So you can guess how hard I’ve been studying and practicing exercises. As in questions.

People have been calling here and there, asking about each other’s preparation for the exam. And also asking about tips or talking about topics that you’ve studied.

Then you are bound to meet people that has a really…weird habit.

That’s right. People who make phone calls while they’re in the toilet.

I don’t mind you calling if you’re in the toilet, but if you’re in the toilet, doing things that you’re suppose to do in the toilet then please, don’t.

I’ve been tricked plenty of times.

It’s not really possible to know if a person is talking to you in a toilet. I mean, it’s not like I’m doing video chat with that person, right?

The easiest way to know is when you hear…echoes.

And of course, the first human instinct, is to deny such a shameful act. Who wouldn’t? If it was me, I would too. But in the first place, I wouldn’t do such a “dirty” thing. Literally.

However, if you if persist long enough, eventually, they’ll break. And make everything so very awkward.

To be completely honest, I think it’s offensive that people talk on the phone while “doing their business” at the same time. How do you concentrate?

Yes, it’s true even though it sounds gross. It requires concentration.

Trust me, I know.

EPIC FAIL.

Paramore Tickets = BROKE

2010-09-26T20:00:00.003+08:00

Remember one of my previous post, when I talked (typed) about Paramore coming to Malaysia? There, I said that I’m really excited for them to come here and perform but also that the ticket prices were too expensive.

Guess what? I’m just a sucker for Paramore. I got the 300+ bucks ticket.

No, I’m not bragging in this post.

The normal thing is that after I bought the ticket, I should be happy, right? Cause I get to see them right in front of me on the 19th of October and all.

Yeah, I’m real happy.

In case you guys didn’t know, this is one of the most expensive thing I’ve ever spent my money on without my parents knowing. What, I didn’t tell you guys that?

I’m a guy, therefore I don’t do much savings. Throwing 300 bucks out there suddenly, that gotta hurt my wallet.

However, what’s done is done, right? No use crying over spilled milk anyway. So I gotta make the best out of this situation. And this is where the list comes in!

THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR PARMORE TICKET.

#1. Cry over the fact that after you bought the ticket, you’re more broke than all the hippies in the world.

#2. Sleep with it. Cause that's the most reasonable thing to do and because you can.

#3. Have workout sessions with it. Workout, not makeout, mind you.

Yeah, grow some muscles with it!

#4. Wash toilets with it?

Just because you feel insecure when the ticket’s not beside you all the time!

EPIC (BROKE) FAIL.

The Right Angle

2010-09-22T21:19:00.002+08:00

I don’t know if you noticed but a lot of people’s photos on Facebook are very "one-sided" (word play). What I meant by that is taking pictures, posing with your apparently “good side”.

You know how sometimes when asked to pose for a picture, you would turn to a specific side, just because you think you look better like that?

I’ve seen people with all of their photos that way. That specific side only, and on a few occasions, I’ve actually been deceived when I saw them in real life.

Why pose that way? I know you wanna look good and all but not in all your photos, right?

Girls (and sometimes guys), it’s okay to have a few of them, but if it’s like that in all of your photos, we’re gonna have very high expectations on how you look like.

It’s not like this would happen:

You met up with GIRL A and at first it was pretty awkward.

You were quite excited to see how this GIRL A looks like in real life and not though some virtual world – internet.

When you saw the “real” her, you got completely freaked out about how she looks like. You never in a million years expect her to look like that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

That was complete and utter bullshit. We guys will never do anything like that. Do you know why, girls? It’s because…

…everyone is beautiful in their own way. You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down. (familiar, no?)

Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

EVEN THIS IS TOO CORNY FOR ME.

Remembering Sunday

2010-09-18T00:08:00.003+08:00

Trials is more or less a week away. Beside from SPM, trials is actually very important because they'd use this trial’s result to apply for universities or colleges, if I've not mistaken.

I’m actually very blur about all these things.

Anyway, considering that trials is so near, I must be cracking my head, studying and revising everything that I’ve learned for the past two years, right?

WRONG. You only call it revising if you’ve actually learn it. Everything is so new to me.

Right now, all I’m doing is….

Alright, I might be studying a little but what I did most was this:
A cover with my friends, Aileen, Allan and Brandon.

Again, I would say this time, the cover was a failed attempt.

Don’t get me wrong. Aileen, Allan and Brandon did an awesome job. In fact, they’re really talented people. It’s me who failed. Maybe I should just stick to blogging…

Then again, it’s me, Johnny. What would you expect?

So yes, studying and this covering songs. Well, I could say this is the ‘world preview’ of our cover. Enjoy?

EPIC FAIL.

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed, Literally.

2010-09-15T00:34:00.003+08:00

I can’t believe I missed this out until I had the same experience again.

Allow me to just out it out there, just lay it out on you guys.
I’m not an anti-social. In fact, I like mixing around with my friends and meeting new people. However there’s always a “but” to everything.

In this case, meeting new people is one thing, meeting new people awkwardly is another.

Imagine this:

A friend of yours introduce you to another one of their friend, someone you’ve never met before.

At first, all is cool. Everything’s normal, you guys strikes up some small chats, and your friend actually helps out the conversation you two are having.

Suddenly, here’s the when the awkward part comes up. Your friend goes away and leaves you two together alone.

You don't want it to be that awkward or for this "friend" to think that you’re some kind of anti-social person, so you try your best to strike up another conversation.

A really lame one, for that matter.

The conversation dies down and you realized you failed. Miserably.

So you’re back to having the awkward silence between you two.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I tell you, this condition could win the most awkward situation ever, cause seriously, isn’t it?

The best thing to do during this kind of scene is probably to follow your friend wherever they go, to avoid the awkward part.

Possibly, this is the best time to take the saying “a friend in need is a friend indeed” literally!

EPIC FAIL.

Sandwiched (Ain’t No BUN Time)

2010-09-09T16:49:00.003+08:00

Get my title?

Friends. We all have them. I think I dare say that virtually no one can live without their buddies. Most definitely, I can’t.

Likewise, you have your best friend or your close friend. Those that stands out from the rest of your other circle of friends. And that’s when problem kicks in.

Something that I despise a lot is, looking at my good friends arguing. In this case, my good friends are me, myself and I.

But wait, that’s not the worse part! The more ridiculous thing is that they start asking you who’s the one in fault.

In other words, I’ve to choose a side.

Here’s the tricky part. Sometimes, between them, you don’t really know who’s in fault. Sometimes it’s both. So how on earth do you pick a side?

“Well then, the best thing to do, would be, to not a pick a side, right?”, You ask.

No, random person who speaks to the monitor screen!

In fact, that’s the worse thing to do!

More often than not, you’d end up being the victim.

They’ll start hating you and it’s all your own fault. Believe me, I’ve been there, I’ve done that. There’s no other better way of handling it, is there?

Well, I’ll just give them this:

I’m only joking!

…if I said I don’t mean it.

EPIC FAIL.

Johnny, That Dude.

Toilet Cleaners Puts Me Under Pressure

Someone Got Raped?!

Follow Me On Twitter

Things To Do When The Internet Is Down

Like a Boss

Sheep Wool By Rosie

Hooker

HSONJTD#2: Emma Watson Vs Bonnie Wright

Racist Cow

My Love For Toilets

Bless You

Names You Expect From A Comic Book

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley VS Megan Fox

Dirty Town

The Montana Twister

The Pull

Fresh Meat

Sorry I Exploded

Shopping Mood

Banananana (Dole!)

Smile! You’re On Candid Camera

SMILE!

(I’m a robber!)

SMILE!

(I’m an Asian thief!)

Problem?

Kiasu

EPIC FAIL.

I Am Journalist

EPIC FAIL.

A Week In New Zealand

EPIC FAIL.

I’m Never Good In Goodbyes

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO VERY MUCH. GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU GUYS MEAN TO ME.

Amusement In Langkawi (Part 2)

EPIC FAIL.

Amusement In Langkawi (Part 1)

FRIED EGGS, FRIED EGGS (Rebecca Black)

FRIED EGG, FRIED EGG.

Welcome To Confused Country

Getting Good Results, It’s Different Now

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plenty Of Other Fishes In The Sea

FISHY?!

Valentine’s

All Work And No School

HELL TO THE YES.

LIKE SHIT.

School = (: Work = ):

Chinese New Year ‘11

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! DONG DONG CHIANG.

Change

11/1/11

EPIC FAIL.

Race Against Time

EPIC FAIL.

2011, A Year Of New Beginnings

Stuck In My Ele, My Elevator

Christmas Wish-list ‘10 (Merry Christmas!)

I’m Gonna Dye

Money Is Like A River

I Killed A Clone

Getting Married?!

This Is It

Last Day Of School ‘10

DoggyStyle

#3.WWJS: Delicious Sandwich Comes First

Hotel robbery suspect found next door to hotel at The Alibi bar

To hospital for gunshot wounds or eat my delicious sandwich first?

#2.WWJS: Flying Deers

Sunburned whales? Ozone hole could be culprit

Car-struck deer flies through windshield, out back

#1.WWJS: World’s Smallest Car

Feline (cat) blamed for starting fire with toaster oven

World’s smallest car measures 26 inches wide

Deepavali 2010

Less Than 3, No Not < 3

Graduation 2010

5 NERD Facts

School = (:
Work = ):